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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Today was juz another ordinary day at work.. i worked at RF.. get to know a new colleague.. who's a part timer juz like me.. well we got along well... but it's only been a day cant really say much about a person.. but she's quite a quiet person.. i knocked off at ten today..was feeling sooooo hungry .. feeling as though i can eat like everything tt's edible... i ate chicken rice at 5.. but was apparently starving at around 10...i bought quite a lot of stuff from 7 eleven.. cup noodles.. chocolate.. some canned food.. bread etc... i find that i buy a lot when i'm hungry... but ended up finishing not even half of what i've bought.. never mind save the other cup noodles for tomorrow.. haha.. I juz ate like one cup noodles.. a chocolate and one bun..a bit too full to sleep now.. oh gosh...

I cant explain fully how i felt today... felt a little down. .. i dunno why...i may be busy crapping with my colleagues the whole time... laughing ... and everything .. but deep down i felt a tinge of emptiness. .. juz let me hear one sad song is enuff to bring me to tears..esp if the song relates to me ....i wonder why.. Then went home to find the house quite empty... my whole family had gone to Malaysia.. to fetch my mom home... except for Bambi of course.. The fact that no one's home ... adds on to the loneliness... luckily there's still Bambi around.... :-p... sometimes .. i felt that i'm a weird person....at certain times... i can be soooo hyper.. at other times.. i can feel like so alone.. , left out and so unloved... I guess mood changes... too...i dunno why i feel this way....I feel silly at times.. because .. things dun usually go my way....knowing that reality bites.. certain things are never possible...it's a fact i'm sure of..but i chose to believe in miracles... although it doesnt really exist in this situation... coz i can fully understand my position in ur heart....... so ignore me... I'm always constantly imagining the impossible... i'm fine... i'm used to situations like these... not a lucky person in relationships i guess...well... juz gotta accept it...

well, tomorrow will be a better day i guess... life moves on.. i gotta tough week ahead of me.... it's the week by which real work starts... tutorials ... lectures...and assignments.. etc... i will be working the following 2 days.. then tuesday have lessons from 9 all the way to 6 i think with only a pathetic one hr break... then after which will rush to OB for guitar lessons.. :-p.. it's what i look forward to everyday... coz i get to play guitar with friends.. and also get to see lao shi and jiahui :-p the only time when i'm truly happy is when i'm playing my guitar and singing... happier if it's with my lao shi , jiahui and friends... it's fun when everyone around u shared the same passion..:-p okok.. hope everything goes smoothly...from tuesday onwards i'll be so occupied with lessons that i'll have no time to feel down or anything haha.... then i guess maybe that tinge of emptiness will go away... hopefully...

Still hoping my Grandma to get well asap... i dun wan further sufferings for her..Hope lao shi hurry up go for health screening and regain his health asap...Hope to have some home-cooked food by my mom soon... missed her cooking but not her nagging haha...

29-4-06

11.55pm

Cheers!

12:30:00 AM

Saturday, April 29, 2006

I didnt blog yesterday.. didnt had the time... was out the entire day.. morning was in sentosa for classes.. afternoon went to expo for the compulsory Food Hotel Asia trip..then in the evening i was at OB for guitar lessons as usual.. then when night falls i was watching my teacher and friend performance... i reached home around4 yesterday.. late right? but it's ok i dun have classes today.. tt's why i'm here now... hehe

The Food Hotel Asia was quite fun.. we get to taste food from different countries... guess what ? free sushi.. free wine..free chocolates... and lotz more.. u name it u have it.. haha... juz one walk thru all the halls.. it's enough to make u full...i guess the most satisfying food will be the chocolate fudge... i'm not sure what to call it but t's extremely delicious... the machine produced hot chocolate really hot .... from the machine.. into small cups then we drink from it... totally heavenly.. my friend and i couldnt resist the temptation we went back for the second cup haha....we dreamt of sharing the machine.. then 1,3,5 put at my house.. 2,4,6 at her house...haha.. sunday to replenish our stock haha.. As it was already 5 when the thing ended .. i decided to leave for OB as it's a waste of time to travel home again.. and then travel to OB... so i reached there around 6 .. haha.. my lesson start only at 7... so i sort of fooled around with my receptionist friends..they played the keyboard while i played my guitar.. we were having a mini karaoke session at the OB office.. haha having fun.. seven o'clock reached very soon... kkkkk... :-p ....

Guess what i finally got Lao shi's song...sms.. hehe.. then he refuse to give me the other songs he composed..he say not that good... but i'm smart.. haha.. later ah J came to see teacher.... help teacher do his hair then knowing lao shi is quite vain....i took some pictures of him using my phone.. then when he saw it .. he said he looked better in my phone coz my phone have better quality haha then keep asking me to send him wanna use as his wallpaper.. .. then i say i will send him if he let me have 3 more songs haha.. one photo one song... hehe .. then he say he must work hard to write songs everyday.. so that can get me to send him the pictures.. haha.. i'm so smart..:-p Lao shi is really vain...haha. keep pulling me in front of the mirror with him to ask me how he looked.... then even give Ah j rubber band to tie his hair aiyoh .. Ah J wanna tie threee.. i quickly stop him otherwise he will really look like some beggar.. haha i saved him from embarassment... :-p after listening to the songs now.. i find that i kinda like the "You r my only one".... i'm going to get the chords from him tonight.. haha :-p Coz i juz help him check out the hospital information for health screening... then later can exchange infore with him... haha.. i think he really needed a health check... Hope tt he's fine... :-p

Well .. we went to karaoke after their performance.. i only get to sing 3 songs.. "zhu wo sheng ri kuai le"... "yi ran she peng you" and "hei se you mo"....my favourite songs... i always sing .. "zhu wo sheng ri kuai le"... it's like a must for me....although this song often bring back some sad memories.. but it's really a great song also loved the other 2 songs.. :-p then lao shi also said again that my singing sound better .. haha.. yeah!... but also pin point some errors i made... i will continue to improve... :-p

Today going for lessons again.. :-p... yeah!... guitar lesson is fun!... :-p...but i still prefer tuesday and thursday lessons more.. coz there's Jiahui to accompany me.. not for this week.. but she will be back next week... miss her.. Moving on to other matters .. was quite glad to hear that the friendship between Siu yuin and her friend was not lost... coz it will be such a waste.. since it isnt easy to build a friendship... it takes time ..and effort... and besides they have been like such great friends before that incident... hope ntg changes ... all goes well for them...and hope that my darling siu yuin will think carefully the next time round..:-p... but no matter what decision she make .. i will be there supporting her... :-p

Jia You!

It been a week since i lat saw my mom..she went to KL for almost a week.. already... wonder if she got miss me a not .. haha :-p.. she will be back tomorrow.. :-p

Okie.. guess tt's all for today.. i gotta work tomorrow.. oh no so sian... right... but in RF still ok la.. haha

28-4-06

10.28pm

Cheers!

10:37:00 AM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Today i was already very frustrated that i have to go back to school for one short freaking hour.. and guess what... it was raining cats and dogs while i was on my waythere .. which gets me more frustrated... then when i reached school... i found out that the teacher was on MC.. OMG so responsible of him to make the whole class come all the way from home to Sentosa specially for his lesson... and then not turn up... Have he thought of the pple who leave very far away from the island? wasted today's time.. we could have went for the food fair today.. now wasted today.. i have to go for the food fare tomorrow... so sad... actually can go home at 12..then go out with my cousin... but because of this.. i must for go meeting her.. coz the trip is compulsory .. Damn!

Grrrrrrrr.. really a waste of time and energy.. i dunno what to say to express ...okok must relax what's done cannot be undone... no point crying over spilled milk cannot turn back time already...after much anger... i went to harbourfront shopping centre with Alverina to get some stationery.. then we sorta walked aimlessly around bought some bread from breadtalk coz the bread talks ... haha kkk i noe it's not funny.... it's coz the bread is selling for one dollar each.....I went home after which.. such a boring day... did my accounts tutorial... watched a bit of Tv.. saw a bit of myself on TV too.. haha ..the part when JJ lin come and visit our school... when teacher and him were playing the song .. jian jian dan dan.. i was behind them.. then was accidentally shown on screen i guess.. haha.. :-p quite funny.. Alverina told me this afternoon that she saw me on TV... then Suhui also smsed me today to tell me that... and also tell me the date and time when theshow will be aired.. :-p... it's going to be aired on Tuesday 8pm.. channel U.. i think i should be in school during that time.. but there's a repeat at 12 midnight... hehebut i looked quite blur there.. :-p... but it's ok.. pple will all be looking at JJ and my teacher... i'm juz the background so no worries hahahaha :-p..

I will be going for JJ's concert... Suhui has helped me bought the tickets.. it will be on June 24th... my sis birthday.. :-p... cant wait for that day... i think the seats shld be quite good too.. because.. Suhui is an expert in watching concerts already.. a super big mayday fan haha... so i hope for the best :-p it's been soooo long since i watched a concert... :-p Tomorrow will be heading back to school again.. for guitar lesson .. haha it seemed that my life revovles around guitar..guitar lessons... school and OB...at the moment....:-p...i find that after i got so into guitar .... i find myself no longer single and available.. i'm attached ... attached to my guitar .. :-p hahaha... we have been together for quite long already haha... Maybe i trust a guitar more than a guy... I truly dun wish to get stabbed in the heart again... :-( maybe i've developed something called the RP.. Relationship Phobia.. at the moment..Maybe it's really quite impossible to totally erase all the memories.. i will be lying thru my teeth if i say i could... but as i always say in life we have to move on whetherwe like it or not... so i might as well try to make myself happy... by doing the things i like..following my passion... sometimes i wonder why it seemed so easy for certain pple around me to be happily in a relationship.... while i juz cant... it's not jealousy ..juz a passing thought... i feel more than happy for them..:-p ... maybe i have tounderstand that *what's urs is urs..no matter how far u run it's still urs ... what isnt urs.. no matter how hard u try .. it still isnt urs.. * Perhaps relationships arejust not for me.. tt's why decided to have a 'relationship' with a guitar instead .. * At least my guitar is there whenever i need it... haha :-p

Today i tried very hard to perfect the new plucking method teacher taught me yesterday .. that my fingers felt quite sore.. on both sides.. on the left it's becoz of the pressing of chords.. as usual.. on the right is because i over exert strength when plucking.. i kept on repeating playing 2 songs today.. one is the one my teacher composed.. the other was "one day i will" :-p.. it's an old habit. whenever i have new chords in my hands i will keep on playing the new chords...until i get newer chords..haha.. old habits are not easy to break.. :-p but i think i'm going to give my fingers a break tonight.. coz gotta use them to play tomorrow night.. :-p I really think to master an instrument u really have to have a deep passion for it.. otherwise it's quite impossible to succeed... it's indeed not as easy as it seems... a song on stage may take juz a few minutes but the person that plays it may spend many many hours to practise it... but the satisfaction alone derived from performing(Getting applause and approval from audience) is worth all the time and hard work...:-p

*It takes a thought to make some words... and it takes some words to make an action.. IT TAKES SOME WORK TO MAKE IT WORK.....***TT's y Action speaks LOUDER than words.. coz u need to put your words into action in order to make ur words turn into reality otherwise they will stay as words...and becomes lies... coz no work is done to transform them into reality... ***Saying something takes a few minutes.. but Doing something takes more energy and time...**

I guess that's all for today..

26 Feb.. 2006

9.53pm

Cheers!..

11:13:00 PM

Oh Gosh.. went to watch "Eight Below" yesterday.. it was an extremely touching movie.. i could feel tears in my eyes during certain times of the movie.. A great...exciting... touching..movie... to me it's also inspirational ...the way things work... when there's teamwork...The friendship and love shared between the 8 dogs and Jerry (lead actor) was amazing .... The strong willpower of the dogs who struggled to survive alone for over 6 months in the cold... they fought for their own food... cooperated with one another... looked out for one another.. in the frozen wilderness....I think deep down they always believed that Jerry will come back for them as promised... i think one line which one of the American Geologist said was indeed very meaningful..i think it's something like this... . ^"it's worth taking risks for something u care about"^. Sometimes it's not a matter of whether u will get what u want in life.. it's the fact that u know that at least u have once tried ur best or strive very hard to achieve it,despite the risks involved.. knowing u have no regrets.. sets ur mind and heart at ease ...at the very least.. If Jerry didnt go back to the place... he will live in guilt.. for the rest of his life... (live with regrets for his entire life) ....It's a really great movie that remind us of the things we often neglect....so go watch it! it's a must for all dog lovers like me... inspired by a true story...But was pretty sad that 2 dogs didnt make it under the harsh conditions... :-( i rate this show.. 4/5... one star deducted due to the fact that 2 dogs didnt survived..it will be even better if all eight dogs survived ... :-p

Moving on to academic matters... well was pretty frustrated that i have to go back to school tomorrow for juz a pathetic one hour lesson.. that's psychotic..wasting...my transport fee... my time..my energy... juz to go to Sentosa for that compulsory one and only tutorial that start from week 1... the other tutorials on Wedall start from next week... except this freaking Basic Entrepreneurship tutorial... **GRRRRRR**... and only last one hour... Sighz... I dunno what more to say to express my frustration... *GRRRRRRRRR** juz sorta spoiled the entire wednesday... it was suppose to be all free day.... Damn!

Well... went for guitar class today.. there was only 2 people in the class.. me and another girl.. teacher sort of rotate teaching the 2 of us.. didnt expect the tuesday class to be so empty... then teacher asked me to play and sing the song "One day I will"...i love that song...simple yet meaningful lyrics.. and nice melody.. i get all nervous with him watching me.. it's quite stressed playing in front of someone who's an expert in that area... :-p i noe exactly how jiahui feels the other time. haha i was busy teasing her together with teacher the other day... but i was glad and happy to know that according to teacher my singing had improved .. :-p..it sounded better than before... somehow the opinions of a professional like him matters..of course there is still lots of room for improvement.. but happy to noe i'm on my way there....hehe but i sort of played faster and faster juz now as i'm more nervous.... he told me to be careful of my speed.. must be consistent.... hehe.. will bear that in mind for sure :-p

Another happy thing will be i tried to figure out the chords for JJ lin's song *Zhi dui ni shuo.. Sarang Heyo*(Great Great song.. a potential song to melt a girl's heart :-p) (to me someone..playing an instrument and singing it to u.. will be even more touching..but the person muz have a good voice of course...:-p) I'll play for my future bf if i'll ever have one haha ... well i tried to figure out the chords when i was in M,sia.. when i cant sleep at night.. today i showed it to teacher..thinking in my mind must be all wrong.. but hey.. i got some correct ...it was better than expected in fact Hooray!!..i..must get better and better in figuring out the chords for songs.. coz that will bring me one step closerin writing my own song.. :-p... hehe .. or am i thinking too much?hehe i always do... pardon me..

i got the chords of the song teacher wrote... not a ballad .. it's quite a mid tempo song... not suitable for plucking methods the title is SMS....i wanna learn the other ballad he wrote last time.. must get him to send me the song haha... i wish i will be able to write nice meaningful songs one day.... Today teacher played a video on his Pc that is so hilarious ...laughing non-stop .... until i feel breathless.. it's the Bu de bu ai... video.. but not the original version .. there's 2 guys in the video.. one acted the male part the other the female part.. the one who acted the female part is soooooo funny.. i dunno how to put it into words u gotta see for urself... haha...Today teacher say he wanna try to quit smoking..was talking bout his song "SMS".. the first sentence.."xiang jie, jie bu diao de yan"... after translation it means.. "wanna quit, but unable to quit smoking" then i suggested nicotine gum then he say willpower is the mainfactor...well... i hope he will succeed one day... :-p.. Jia You .. King Kong lao shi... :-p The whole gang will support u in every way if u are really determined to do it! ;-p If there's a will there's a way!.. Kam Ba te !!!

Okie.. shall end here now....

Cheers!

12:00:00 AM

Monday, April 24, 2006

Today's a pretty slack day for me... the weather isn't too good... was hot n sunny for a few minutes and then pouring the next... and then raining with the sun still up in the sky..so humans living in this part of the planet have got to get used to fast changing temperatures..my body wasn't fast enough that explains why i kept sneezing i didnt expect the classrooms in Sentosa to be sooooo cold. we were like freezing inside.. then went we get out we were like so freaking hot..it's like getting used togetting out of the igloo.. and straight into the desert... haha.. ok ok i've exaggerated..a little.. as always..i guess the weather says a lot about life... it's unpredictable..

Well, school ended at 1230 today.. this is the first and last time... that will ever happen.. coz it will end at six from the next lesson onwards.. coz today's the first day we arent really prepared i guess... I slept when i got home till 4.... i was like dozing off.. during the briefing...it was quite boring esp the chef video.. i was nodding my head throughout haha... then all of a sudden when the chefs in the video won the award they cheered loudly .. it gave me a shock..and i woke up .. from my dreams...Of course i listened to some parts of the briefing.. and i can sense the difficulty and the hectic fast paced lifestyle of this subject.. .. well no wonder it takes up around 10.5 hours of our time each week...Actually upon hearing the briefing.. however what i'm most worried about will be the proficiency test.. it's like a practical test that test u on ur speed and accuracy on cooking ways and methods... a slow learner like me may not be able to adapt... :-(.... given my blur nature... i'm afraid i will be at a loss of not doing what to do next...the duration for the test was 90 minutes... and have to prepare like quite a list of things... Damn!... the description of the proficiency test does scared me a little..hope i will be able to cope... then the teacher.. also consoled us by telling us it's actually easier than it seems... it's juz like riding a bicycle is easier than describing on how to ride a bicycle... well... not really ... coz u juz sit ..balance..look straight.. and pedal... haha...

of course she finds it easy... with her rich experience in this line.. she is like a professional already.. she owned a restaurant in UK with her brother.. studied this subject in San Francisco... for 2 years... i think.. and then worked in a high end restaurant for quite some time... but before all these she worked as a job not related to this industry for 11 years.. which is quite long before she decided to start on another brand new chapter of her life ...hey hey.. i paid attention k... i'm such a good girl haha :-p U may not believe it but i enjoy hearing people's past job or study experiences.. esp from professionals like these.... because... it sort of reminded me that they have also been through what i'm going thru now.. and that success is not easy.. it takes time, perseverance, endurance and lots of hard work...i'm not sure whether i'm up to this... and am i really suitable for this industry?

i think this post had become a lecture already haha... yawning right? i noe... it's ok.. i understand.. often the person providing the lecture... is as awake as an owl at night.. but the person who is listening/reading the lecture...will be trying hard to keep awake.. okie going for my guitar lesson tomorrow.. :-p it's something i look forward to everyday of my life..... sometimes wonder why i love singing and guitar so much..in actual fact i dun reallly sing well... still have so many areas to improve on... i hope i can polish up and improve on my singing .... and guitar... but teacher... said to me once that i should enjoy the learning process... that will benefit learning more.. and eventually speed up the process...pushing myself too hard will have adverse effects..hey hey i paid attention again ... to my teacher.. :-p i must constantly remind myself that coz i tend to be impatient.. and get angry of myself when i'm unable to do something i love well enough... guess it's human nature

Music is part and parcel of everyone's life... it doesnt matter if ur 15 or 50... we hear music in cars.. in shops... in pubs.. in clubs.. ... it is jus different genres.. but still under music..music is very wide... music transcends all boundaries...it helps conveys feelings and thoughts..some forms of music soothes the mind and calms the soul...to me.. it's an outlet for one to release his/her emotions ...

For me:.^ i hope i will be able to create wonderful melodies accompanied by meaningful and touching lyrics that will touch the hearts of people who heard it..and hopefully my voice blends well into the song :-p^Wish me all the best...Time flies.. i cant believe i've been blogging for almost a month le... ha ha but i think blogging does help one to vent some of their frustrations... thoughts... feelings opinions... and comments down...*Constantly she's always on my mind without fail everyday.... will she ever get well is a question that's been bugging me ever since the day she was unwell... will anyone save her from all the pain and misery? *

i shall end here now.. it's raining cats and dogs outside now..... pouring heavily right now... meeting xiqing at 7 for a doggy movie... "Eight Below"... wanna get some stationary.. too... 2 files..notebook... etc... one file is to put my chords... the doraemon file is already not enough for my chords.... haha :-p the other for school purpose..

Cheers!

11:13:00 PM

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Well i'm back from M,sia... i noe the next qns for anyone who's been reading my blog will be how's my grandma... well the answer is her condition is still not very good.. as usual there were tears welling up my eyes as i saw her crying for the first time... i've never seen her cry for the last 20 years of my life... :-( i told her not to cry.she say it's painful... oh gosh i was speechless.. my godmother was the one who still got the strength to console her.. i was the useless bum who apparently juz stood there like a statue... looking at her dunno what to do.... it took me quite some time before... i found the strength to speak again.. i told her to be strong.. everything is going to be fine... to bear with it for now...

Before i continue.. i would like to take the chance to thank my teacher.. for making an effort to write me the chords for my grandma's favourite song "wang chun feng"despite him feeling unwell..i appreciate his help..:-p. cos his help allowed me to have the chance to do something for my grandma at least... I played her this song.. as loud as possible.. as she is hard of hearing now. Despite her having difficulty speaking... she's like whispering ... under her breath... "nice nice"... in hokkien.. she even whispered something about the song..she say this song is a very pitiful song.. everytime i sing that song she will say that... in the past.. Btw... she taught me how to sing this song...i've never heard of the David Tao version .... I played her other songs too... "yue liang dai biao wo de xin"....etc...but i think she still love "wang chun feng"... the most...so glad i got the chords....thks King kong! :-p..

Despite her being sick.. she still constantly think about us.... keep whispering us to go home early coz we need to work/study tomorrow... she always puts others on top priority at all times... i missed the loud "speaker " voice she used to have in the past..to think tt i used to complain about how loud her voice is ... now i juz want that voice to be back... ... looking at her now u dunno how much i will do anything to turn back time...to get back to the past... of course i know it's wishful thinking.... u noe when someone is desperate .... the person can think of anything so ridiculous...*sighz*

*Certain things are really impossible...Never possible... Ntg is going to come out from it.. Ntg shld come out from it anyway..at the end of the day, I will only be the one to be ridiculed..*

i shall not elaborate on the above sentence juz a thought. tt suddenly flashed across my mind....Guess i shall end here now...hope that tmr is going to be a fine day.. it's the first day of school in a brand new environment.. Sentosa... wish me all the best...!

Cheers!

11:15:00 PM

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Just woke up with a slight headache..reach home at around 3.. went to Siu Yuin's house yesterday.after Zhen Jun's birthday party....we toked about quite a lot of things i hope she will be strong and think about what she really want this time round... and dun regret her decisions.. i will support her all theway no matter what decisions she make !... :-p . ... Jia You.. Darling!.... :-p ... well.. felt pretty awkward at the party.. maybe havent seen them for quite some time... basically majority of them are happily attached...:-p

But the worse thing that happened yesterday will be i lost my way... as usual couldnt find the cafe... so glad that Frances was there to guide me over ... otherwise i will still be wandering around clarke quay with my guitar strapped on my back for dunno how long.. i was like perspiring..when i reach the place... exhausted...

Left OB at around 830 when Siu Yuin say something happened to her dog and she cant meet me at the original time at 8....but it was a blessing in disguise actually coz of the delay of the meeting time.. i stayed at OB for a longer time.. tt's how i got the chance to get an upclose view of JJ !!! ( Lin Jun Jie.)... apparently he dropped by for a programme... to shoot the school i think :-p... he came into our classroom to look for teacher.. we all share the same teacher tt's why.... he introduced teacher to the camera... and played a small portion of the song "jian jian dan dan" with him...He was a friendly guy... before he left he even told us to "Jia You! " :-p.... in my opinion he looked better in person than on screen....:-p... Admire his talent to create beautiful melodies.. and his superb voice... JJ rocks..!

Heading off to Malaysia this afternoon.... actually was quite afraid to know or see the condition my grandma is in now... reality bites.... i heard it isnt too good...oh gosh... i cant explain how scared i am now... sometimes i juz drat to see her.... i hate to see her suffer... she really does not deserve it at all..

meanwhile i think my Bambi has got a sore throat... i think i need to bring her to the vet soon.. and that is going to cost me a bomb.. juz the consultation fee alone is enough to kill.... and i dun think my sis will share with me coz she will surely say she's very broke too... sometimes cant help but wonder if who's poorer .. me or her? but for Bambi i have to sacrifice... i dun mind as long as i still have the ability to work to earn that little money its better than nothing.. so im not gonna quit my current job until i find myself a new job... it's hard looking for a part time job nowadays.. esp now with my packed time table...

okie shall end here now...

Cheers!

1:54:00 PM

Friday, April 21, 2006

Here i am.. sitting here writing yet another post... actually prefer to go out when the sun goes down... and when night falls.. haha... i live a life of an owl...I can bea bit quick tempered when the temperatures gets high... coz i told myself i gotta slack all i want now... juz in case i get too busy from next week onwards....like what Shemin say i gotta have confidence.. so muz Slack with confidence too... hehe :-p thks bud

I enjoyed time last night with my teacher, Jiahui and Fion.. as usual Jiahui and I had great fun playing guitar together.. luckily she brought her own guitar along otherwise there will be no more left for one of us... and also dun really like to play the school's guitar very much coz the neck is too broad.. which makes it harder to perfect the chords. Too bad... Jiahui is having exams next week.. so she wun be coming to school next week...:-(... wish her good luck for her exams :-p

After class.. went to watch performance as usual...it's like a norm already... haha.. but then yesterday teacher was not feeling well... had diarrhoea... and also vomitted:-(... he say he havent been feeling too good for the whole week.. but despite him feeling unwell.. he is still able to perform quite well... really pei fu him...What a teacher! if feeling unwell isnt bad enough... the customers keep on wanting him to drink beer..bottoms up with them.... even if he doesnt like it... also must go with the flow... to satisfy them... sound like dance hostess haha.....but he look more like a king kong to us...hehe this king kong dun really know how to take care of himself .... we all agree that all the things he does everyday brings harm to his body....Furthermore.. to make matters worse, Fion was also not feeling very well... it was like 2 sick cats performing last night.....

Hope he gets well soon...:-p Hope Fion gets well soon too..and their performance goes on smoothly tonight, yesterday Jiahui and me was so afraid he might puke on Fionor the microphone halfway thru the performance..luckily he did not... but can really sense that he was not in really good condition yesterday...I wont be able to catch their performance tonight. . :-p coz it's Zhen jun's birthday .. and i am going ... to me it's like a secondary school gathering hehe.. although i wasntreally sure who else is going...Not sure how's everyone too...will be meeting siu yuin at clarke quay station at 8... she better dun be late haha.. or else.......@!^*~#^!*I will go there straight after my guitar lesson at around 730... from tanjong pagar to clarke quay.. shouldnt be too far ... i think haha... really lousy in road directions and remembering of the location of places... i guess i will probably get lost if i ever drive a car... a lot of petrol will be lost i guess... hehe that's the main reason why i didnt had the urge to get myself a driving license.. or at least at this moment i dun have the urge...i can't say for the future... Life is unpredictable...

At this moment.. i juz wanna own a brand new good quality guitar... yesterday played Jiahui's guitar.. dun look like a typical TGM guitar at all it was very enjoyable to play a guitar with good sound quality it gives more satisfaction...and makes a person happier when playing .. :-p... after playing her guitar i cant wait to get onefor myself...Almost everyone in the OB family has got the same guitar... haha... but maybe different brand but looks really the same...I guess i shall end here now.. too much rattling on guitar haha :-p Hope tt my grandma... gets well soon.. :-p "Years goes by .. will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand? "...

Cheers!

4:14:00 PM

Thursday, April 20, 2006

mmmm It's yet another slacking day today... i was like facing the pc since i woke up ...will probably come home late again tonight so might as well write a blog now since i got the time now ,was awaken by a couple of sms...some matters like the new time table...well it's finally out.. after much awaited anticipation.. :-p... but wasnt really very happy about it upon seeing it though coz.. it's quite packed... difficult to find a new parttime job that way.. but on the other hand i wanna get out from my current job.. :-( ... sighz...

Well.. as i was online today.. decided to juz go on msn... didnt really expect that there are like 5 of my friends online at this time of the day.... i always thought pple go online in the night more often.. guess i was wrong then... because some of them... did it illegally at work... haha... notti friends ive got there hehe....tok to pple i dun really see online on msn...including my King kong teacher ;-) haha.. and jiahui.. my si jie.. going to see them tonight anyway... :-p

I will be going to Malaysia.. on Saturday afternoon.. and will be back by Sunday... coz Monday is the day when i start school...and guess what i start school at 8 in themorning and end school at 6... oh my Gosh!!!..... it's like ten hours.. and u noe what ? to make matters worse it's the same subject "Culinary Science" throughout the whole day.. the 10 hours... can u believe it ? I'm juz worried that i wont be able to cope in this new semester... but no matter what i'm going to try my best....i'm gonna be damn busy from next week onwards... busy school time-table... and also on certain days of the week... i will be going to OB for guitar classes... I will not compromise my guitar lessons despite how busy i am.. :-p because to me it is like a joy in my life...a form of commitment...Of course the road of learning is never always a bed of roses... there are rocks and cactles along the way... but i will not give up on learning this instrument...bcoz I dun wan any regrets in life...still trying very hard to perfect the F minor chord and one of the strumming methods.... but i will do it one day... it's juz a matter of time...

Wrote something new on the front... part of my blog page...Shall end here now.. i guess.. :-p

Cheers!

11:48:00 PM

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Today's quite a peaceful day ... as long as i dun work there... then it cant be that bad.... didnt post any blog yesterday... reached home at around 3 plus...yesterday... then spent some time tuning my guitar with the new tuner that teacher helped me buy... was happy to finally own a tuner dun have to constantly rely on others to make my guitar sound right... ;-p

I went to k box today... with suhui and suhua.. everything went well initially.... but too bad that suhui gotta leave in less then 30 minutes... havent even finished her drink yet... as she received news that her grandpa's condition was in serious condition.... I messaged her after which..n found out that her grandpa had unfortunately passed away....I felt sorry for her... i told her to be strong because this is the time during which her mom needed her the most... I'm sure she will be able to pull through this....

I didnt really enjoyed myself in Kbox.. which is really unusual... for a person like me who loved singing soooo much.. throughout the whole singing session i was busy thinking about how suhui's doing... and also it also sort of reminded me of my grandma's situation... She's always on my mind without a doubt... of course i hope she can pull through this..... but i think i can juz leave it to the hands of fate to decide what's best for her....

Perhaps... this is juz a cycle of life... each and everyone of us has to go through this whether we like it or not.... from an innocent baby.. to a teenager ... and adult... then an elderly.....
i sort of think that certain behaviour of the elderly people....sometimes remind me of how kids behave... i have no idea how to put it into words on how i feel .... but they juz do.. in small ways....
or at least that's what i thought .....

Moving on to the other matters...i checked my mail today... never really expected a reply anymore after some time.. i thought there will be no reply.... but nonetheless i got a reply...but the reply actually was juz what i expected from this person......there was mention of whether we are still friends etc....and whether there will be any possibility for any form of forgiveness... even if it will take 1 year... 2 years... or 5 years... for someone to write this i think it's rather contradictive .... since it's so easy to have crushes in juz a few months... then i really dun think i will still be remembered after a year.... probably after another few months.... i do not even exist at all..... so let alone toking about a year?
perhaps we juz see things diffferently... i see Time as a really good test for any form of relationship ... repeatedly say it so many times...but maybe not everyone thinks so... it's a difficult test i noe.. but it all depends on whether the parties involved are willing to do it or not...
If this test cant even be passed through then i dun think anyone should dare mention the word "Love" in this relationship...
And also .... another thing i constantly believed in.... Actions speaks louder than words.. mere words gets a person no where.... ... to me, saying n toking about how good u r...is juz like a rocking chair... it gives the person something to do but gets the person absolutely no where......
I always believe if a person wans to do something very much ... NOTHING can stop the person at all!.... but this of course depends on the person's will which is most important coz that's the main force that keeps the person going..on and on.....

Guess i shall stop here... before i bore anyone in any way...
May suhui's grandpa rest in peace......
May my grandma get well asap........

Cheers!

8:24:00 PM

Monday, April 17, 2006

It was quite a monotonous day today..until i met up with my darling siu yuin... after 5 haha.. but too bad she got a stomachache so gotta go back and rest early.. hope she gets well soon... maybe she's sensitive to chocolates.. ya but had great fun hanging out with her...really enjoyed her company today..if it's not for her today..i will be even more down...thks darling....at least... taking photos was especially fun i guess.. we were like giggling all the way.. with those qian bian expressions.. i guess the pple walking by juz feel like beating us up.. but luckily they did not... i will put the photos on here for all to see.. asap.. once she send me the photos.. :-p

Moving on to another heart-sinking matter in my life... i received news that my grandma had came out from the hospital.. u might think that i should be happy but according to my cousin who was there.. she told me that she was suffering ... her stomach's pain was killing her... she's like crying.. I've never seen her cry for all my 20 years.. i saw it once since i last saw her...she was like moaning in pain..she's a strong woman for all i know... always keep everything to herself.. afraid that others will worry for her constantly.. always praying for everyone to be well.... a selfless.. and strong individual.. i must admit that i've always admired her character..

I just dun understand why such a good .. noble person like her who always put other's welfare at first priority.. had to go through this....? why is it so unfair? She's never done anything bad in her entire life.. .. Deep down in my heart... sometimes i juz hope she will soon be released from all these pain and sufferings.... even if it means the fact that i wun see her anymore... but on the other hand.. i juz cant stand the fact to lose her... it really felt like a knife stabbing into my heart.. U noe the thought of losing someone u love... forever.. really sucks..

But then again.. what can i do? i can only pray .. besides praying i really dunno what to do.. sometimes really feel quite useless.. unable to help her in any way.. only know how to cry when i see her... ... my cousin told me not to.. coz it will upset her more... so i guess i juz have to hold back my tears.. but it's gonna be hard.. esp when i actually see her suffering right in front of me.. and yet i'm doing absolutely NOTHING... Dear god... if ur hearing me.. pls release my grandma from all the pain and sufferings she's going through now.. becoz she really does not deserve it...This matter had been like bothering me on and off.. constantly on my mind... juz looking back on the days when she looks after me... teach me to sing... is enough to form a crystal in my eyes..

Sometimes cant help it but feel that life sucks.. but then again.. i cant go out everyday pulling a long face.. coz i understand that nothing changes according to my moods..things still remain the same despite a long face.. i dun like to show too much of my emotions when i'm out.. so i'm still capable to laugh ... even when i'm down.. only pple who understand me will know this...i guess... my friends who belonged to the (act strong category).. will understand fully too.. Life reallly sucks... in this phase of my life... did not really did anything exceptionally well.. in any area... In relationships... needless to say.. i failed.... In family.. maybe on a border line stage... my grandma's condition.. the quarrels within my family... the miscommunication....

For my goal... still a long way to go.. gotta overcome the softness of my voice first.. to make it more powerful... got a lot more to learn but will not give up.. and to me my guitar skills are still lousy so also a long way to go...In friendship... maybe it's the best among the worse...coz at least i found special pple in my life.....the special pple in my life are as follows....:

Siu Yuin: i do appreciate ur concern darling.... . i noe u were trying to cheer me up. juz now..i'm glad to have u in my life...glad tt our friendship can reach this stage i hope this special relationship we share will continue to blossom till the day we leave this world.. :-p... I'm sure we can right? Love ya darling.. feel free to pour me with all ur long winded stories... My ears are constantly there for u...and so are my shoulders ...feel free to lean on me.. :-p.. looking forward to our next chatting session.....more qian bian expressions k? :-p

Shemin: Thanks for ur advice.. and the time ur willing to spend to read my blog....type the comment for me.. msg me... and the long chats we had on msn... Glad that i've found u.....i hope our friendship can last for as long as possible... :-) i will be here for u too.. :-p Meet up with ya soon k... miss ya...:-p

Xiqing: Not exactly in the friendship category coz.. ur my cousin.. or shld i say ur a 2 in 1 package .. :-p a family member and a friend that comes together in one package... lucky to have u.. enjoy the times we watched movies.. and bring Bambi down for strolls...and also without u this blog will NOT be possible at all thanks for the effort u put in for this.. i may not say it verbally.. but i do appreciate it... :-p.... Love ya... cousin... see ya tmr..

Without these pple in my life... i will be in total loss...thanks buddies... glad tt i've found u guys..of course there are still pple tt have helped me before but maybe i've left them out by acccident... u know who u r... thanks for being there... :-p and also a msg to everyone... Pple dun live forever... life is very unexpected.. so Do treat pple u care about and love as best as u could.. coz u never know when is the last time u will see him/her..worst thing in life is to have regrets and the fact that u know it's ur fault that u didnt cherish that special someone u once have in ur life..

Sometimes when i see the words "No new e-mail messages" i cant help but wonder whether my message was being sent... and what r e feelings of the other party... but perhaps... that party also thought ignoration is the best remedy.. so perhaps tt's why there's no reply.... i respect the decision well at least i had my say.....unless there were some technical problems and my e-mail cant be sent.... then tt's another story...

Last but never the least..Anyone reading these.. pls say some prayers for my beloved grandma.. thks...

Cheers!

12:10:00 AM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

I worked at RF today... it's so much more enjoyable working there..enjoyed my time there.. tooksome candid shots with my 2 colleagues/frens... haha... juz love to take fotos... gonna save money to get myself a digital camera... and also if possible a new good quality guitar..After the fun time at RF today.. .time does pass very quickly when ur having fun..today i dun have to work with an empty stomach.. dun have to eat with the pressure of the possibility that a customer want to purchase something... been snacking the whole day .... can eat in peace.. dun have to do something...But...i must understand that reality bites, tomorrow i will be working at **.. .. god bless everything turns out fine..i have to be there for 6 hours...It's like acting for 6 hours in a drama series..coz i must try not to show any form of displeasure..towards anybody cozas i said i'm only a lowly part-timer there.... :-( call me pretentious but tt's life...

Been listening to more of korean and Japanese music lately.. wonder why? A sudden liking towards... artists like Shin hye sung.. Se7en... K and Ken hirai.... ;-p.. maybe humans need a change every now and then.. i'm going to learn a few songs of other languages for a change.. hehe.. it will be more challenging... of course to sing it truly from the heart.. i gotta first understand the song.. and then put myself into the shoes of the person who wrote the song... certain word pronounciation is already a challenge.. but nonetheless i'm gonna give it a try... :-p but gonna take time of course..

well.. juz perhaps thought myself as being quite rash for writing that e-mail..after i think back on some stuffs..maybe i shouldnt write it in the first place... anyway i didnt get a reply so it doesnt matter.. maybe it's already in the junk mail....but i juz felt if i dun voice certain things out... my mind wouldnt feel at ease.. anyway what's done cannot be undone.. so juz i shld juz forget about the e-mail thing and move on ...Life does breaks into mysterious ways...Juz when u r starting to believe someone..juz when trust is slowly building up... something has to happen to break that precious trust that was once been lost....

I pray that i could breakaway .. spread my wings and i'll learn to fly.. I'll do what it takes.. till i touch the sky.. and i'll make a wish..take a chance, make a change.. and breakaway.. out of the darkness into the sun....

Looking forward to meeting my darling siu yuin tomorrow after the 6 suffering hours.. :-)

Cheers!

1:29:00 AM

Saturday, April 15, 2006

It's a very tired day for me... i really juz wanna sleep for the whole of the 11 hours i worked ...i can fall asleep juz by standing .. haha... a living zombie.. recently i really love this song called... Rainbow heaven it's really a touching chinese song... It will be great if i'm able to compose a track like this.. in future.. haha.. To touch many hearts.. with nice lyrics and a beautiful melody to blend with it...

Yesterday i got like ticked off for like no reason at work.. it's really upsetting at times to work there..I think i've came up with the decision to leave... i guess i'm going job hunting soon... cant stand that place..felt even worse yesterday... there were like tears in my eyes.. as i was on my way to meet up with teacher and the rest..maybe coz i'm listening to that rainbow heaven song along the way.... i walked the wrong direction ....as a result..coz wasnt really concentrating on the way to reach there...i acted like normal.. when i'm there at the pub.. sang two songs on stage.. one song.. alone the other with my other friend..it's like karaoke session there... everyone is eager to go on stage i guess...i met this weird man who introduce himself to me in the toilet .. coz it's shared .. de... then i'm like waiting for my friend to come out from the cubicle was afraid he might juz unzip his pants or something haha luckily he didnt.. Phew..

anyway coming back to my work..It's useless to have any complaints coz i'm juz a lowly part-timer..no body takes my words into consideration anyway.. juz feel totally unappreciated there.. after u worked hard to sell a fruit... and in the end still got questioned in a way tt i didnt deserve the money at all... it's really very discouraging...so from today onwards until the day i leave i am not going to attempt to sell that fruit anymore... no one appreciates it anyway.. it's an obligation..

Enough of that sickly place.. i didnt had it good at home too.. sighz.. quarrels happened at home too...my life's hasnt been good these days... oh no... really upsetting .. wun go into detail.. but juz wanna say that even if i'm not the one involved in the quarrel itself... i'm also indirectly very affected .... it's juz tt usually the pple who are quarelling dun really spare a thought for the feelings of the pple around them...sighz.. forget it.. it's beyond my control..

Everything's quite on the down side for me now.. i hope things will get better soon.. :-( In a confusion state myself too..of course it's easy to say ignoration is the best remedy.. but u know often it's easier said then done..no one will actually understand fully how i feel.. sometimes even me myself dunno what's wrong with me.. ..but by the time dawn breaks tomorrow.. i am going to smile as usual.. like i always do..coz i believe showing ur despair doesnt help at all...so better to make a person's day by smiling rather than making a person worry with teary eyes..and sad expression..tt certainly wun solve the problem at all....

Cheers!

1:08:00 AM

Thursday, April 13, 2006

If ur heart's not in it for real.. pls dun try to fake what u dun feel... it seems like juz yesterday someone told me those beautiful lies... and then now i'm left to face this reality..
Well..i enjoyed my conversation with shemin yesterday... and found out we both belonged to the same category. haha... act strong pple...really appreciate her long comment and company :-p
I guess it's not wrong to say that i'm easily manipulated... tt's why i'm being use by ***...
That incident does says a lot of a person's persistency... at least to me... it does... it's not gonna be too difficult before i'm being forgotten again.. and replaced by another... maybe tt's life....we accept certain things whether we like it or not... nobody like the idea of being replaced... but it's happening everyday.. like in games there is always a replacement juz in case something happened to one of the players...
I'm on my way towards recovery... knowing tt i'll be forgotten once again after a while... i muz be mentally prepared for that.
duan le de xuan zai tan yi bian
A broken string, playing once more
wo de shi jie ni bu zai li mian
You're not in my world
wo de zhi jian yi jing tan chu jian
My fingertips have already become calloused from the playing
hai shi wu fa liu ni zai wo shen bian
But still there's no way for me to keep you by my side
duan le de xuan zai zen me lian
A broken string, how can it be reconnected
wo de gan jue ni yi ting bu jian
You don't understand how I feel
ni de zhuan bian xiang duan le de xian
Your changes are like a string that’s been broken
zai zen me jie yin dou bu dui
No matter how I adjust, the sound just don't seem right
ni de gai bian wo neng gou fen bian
I have the ability to distinguish your changes
Nice song? By jay chou... :-) meaningful lyrics.. and nice melody...
Okey dokey... end here for now...
Cheers!

11:35:00 AM

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Nothing special for today.. juz wanna pen down some thoughts like i always do... went for my guitar lesson as usual ... this friday's good friday.... which means it's a public holiday and it will mean more pay if i worked the previous day.. so i ask my supervisor to extend my working hours till 10... since there will be no guitar lessons on that day... ;-(... school not open so i might as well... work... ...my way thru...

Well, enuff bout that.. was having some self-reflection as usual... reflect back on certain memories...i juz felt lik a tool.. Maybe to someone.. i am in fact an instrument... or probably a spare tyre... It's totally impossible to prevent me from thinking that way.. I'm not being irrational here.. in fact i am sure of what i'm saying... Am i only fit to be a tool to kill a person's boredom?? ... If the answer is yes.. then i'm sick of it...

U noe what i guess loneliness in a foreign country juz sort of confuses a person's mind.. to the point in which the person loses his senses to know what he really wants..then juz use anyone to kill their boredom...

Maybe ...ignorance may juz be the best remedy... What's the point of sending me the same messages as before... over and over again.. maybe only a fool would not know that.. if u do treasure something after u lose it for the first time.. u will never wanna do another thing to risk losing it again ... in my opinion if u really did something to risk losing it again... then maybe in ur subconsious mind... it's not that important to u after all... and if it's not that important...my suggestion would be to let it go... It's common sense.. why keep something that had already lose it's importance ? why would anyone wanna run after something that he had chose to give up in the first place? it's totally illogical...and selfish...

That incident juz totally disappoint me till the point in which i dun even feel like communicating with that person...that's why i always say never give promises if u have no confidence in keeping it... it sort of deepen the wound even more..I was like thinking whether my feelings were ever being considered in the first place when the decision was made? Since a decision was already made during that point in time then why bother to look me up? to remind me of it? Thanks but i need no reminder... shall end here i guess...my thoughts for today shall end here... still gotta work tomorrow... oh no... with a weird guy who couldnt stop laughing... from another outlet... god bless... hope everything turn out fine tomorrow... pls pls....dun come too much stock... i'm afraid the 3 of us cant handle it... alright wish me all the best...!!

Cheers!

12:19:00 AM

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I'm quite at a loss for words today.. it was juz another typical day at work...some commotion regarding the division of the commission...i also dunno what's fair... everyone there has their own point of view.... ya money is indeed a sensitive issue... it's difficult to come up with a decision in which everyone is happy with. Well, i dun have much say anyway... so i guess it's best to go with what others say...

I was feeling quite tired today.. maybe coz i cant make myself fall asleep until 2 the previous night.... so i ended up playing my guitar till 2... Bambi's my only listener haha... quite pathetic right? I was like in a daze the entire day... received a couple of messages that i didnt quite expect... but does apologies really help to undo certain things i dun wish to mention here? I just didnt have the mood to reply.. or should say i'm tired of reading the same old things? After i learnt about that matter the othertime .. i just cant imagine my naiveness right from the beginning...i also learnt that humans can never be trusted completely...but i'm amazed that i'm still able to type out some words of bliss..at that point in time... juz trying to put up a strong front lik i always do... sometimes wonder why i have to act so strong on the outside.. it really doesnt benefit me in any way...

I'm the type of person tt will try my best to appear as happy as i could.. or as normal as i could.. even when i'm feeling down... sometimes wonder why i have to try so hard... so silly.... In situations like learning this matter.... according to my character.. i will choose to disappear... tt's the only way to feel better... seeing that person willonly evoke some unwanted memories... Maybe i sound like a turtle hiding my head in a shell...but i dun care... tt's my way of protecting myself...

I was on my way to recovery... telling myself that i will be fine in a month or two... but u know sometimes life juz dun always turn out the way u thought it would be...It's impossible to pen down the hurt i experienced... but i can only blame it all on myself for being too gullible... i once said to someone.. "time tells it all".. well indeed it does... in juz a few months.. i was taken aback by some changes that took place.. .It sounded all so real in the past... but time juz prove to me that all the things that sounded so real in the past were all juz lies.. i juz felt that way.. I wonder how u will react if I do this to u... I dun wanna repeat the cycle over and over again.. i'm tired tt's
all i can say.... dun wish to go thru everything over and over again...

Okie.. having a headache.. now guess i'll end here....i'll Go play my guitar... hope i can sleep better tonight..

Cheers!

12:48:00 AM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I think i'm going to get scolding from my supervisor tomorrow coz of me being late for 2 days in a row.. the first day was coz i overslept the second day is coz i didnt know the outlet at raffles open their shop at ten.. we usually operate at 11 at my usual outlet... i wasnt late on purpose... but as usual this will all seemed like excuses... coz action juz says a million words .... it's meaningless to explain... la...

Well... today was juz really a slacking day for me... i was like sleeping sleeping.... coz slept at 5 the previous night... as usual with my buddies... i slept till 1130... got a headache.. played my guitar for almost an hour then guess what i went back to sleep again.... juz felt a bit drowsy.... then i slept all the way till 6 then i meet up with my cousin... to watch King Kong together.. a DVD we rented..... It was quite a draggy movie... but rather touching towards the end... but i juz hate the part when king kong had to die... :-( I hate sad endings... but life's not all about happy endings.. there's bound to be tears in order to enjoy the feeling of happiness.....pple always treasure the things after they lose it.... tt's human nature...

I enjoyed my conversation with my darling siu yuin the previous night too before i meet up with my buddies... I was glad she didnt blow up with my remarks haha... i was like telling her lotsa crap.. But she shld know perfectly well why i'm like that.... haha ;-p U know my mood swings...etc looking foward to our next meeting....i wan the photos soon... send me k... :-p

Ya was pretty shocked to receive a msg from an unexpected person... guess life itself is unpredictable..but isn't it a bit too late now? As i said... I'm no longer what i used to be...I tried so hard to erase everything... i kept myself busy everyday... i work.. i hang out... i had sleepless nights.. etc..... and now i have to be reminded again? what have i done to deserve this? I....heard many stories from pple of different ages.. it juz gave me a brand new perspective of life each time i hear a new story .... But i do enjoy going out with friends who are older than me..... coz they have a tendency to take care of other pple ..it's the little little things tt really matters... to me..coz i'm very sensitive by nature.... i guess every human like the feeling of being appreciated....:-p

Btw... my daddy says my grandma's situation is getting better now... i hope she quickly get out of this ... and return back to health asap.... I miss her loud voice.... her understanding.. and how she's always there for me....love her... :-p what's most impt is her health.... i can compromise anything:-p

Cheers!

11:30:00 PM

Saturday, April 08, 2006

I had a great day today.. haha :-p buzy carrying out the activity I love most.. playing the guitar and singing.. "performing" for my colleagues and my friends next door.. ;-p it was basically a carefree day at work for me today.. not much stock.. was quite lucky that I didn't meet any unkind customers.. in fact I met 2 good ones today.. a couple who bought 9 "oranges" from me.. after my persuasion.. i juz love the kind of satisfaction.. they complained to me about bad service at *** outlet.. I think I know who he’s referring to haha.. but I juz cant spell it out here..

Besides being late for an hour today.. coz I overslept.. guess was too tired.. I sang on stage yesterday.. was quite nervous.. but teacher said it wasn't that bad.... ya but I feel like a stone.. cant't move much haha.. hope I can do better next time.. overcome this blur look on my face.. hehe.. btw I sang Landy Wen's "Zhu wo sheng ri kuai le" this song never fail to bring back some sad memories well shouldn't elaborate on that in case I bore u in any way.. .. but I juz love this song.. I reach home quite late after that.. and that's y overslept.. this is the first time I was so so late for work.. I did apologise to my poor supervisor.. shu fen though.. hope she dun take it to hard.. I think she's fine now.. she even ask me to play guitar.. after I knocked off at 5.. and she was there singing along.. :-p...after which I went upstairs for dinner actually didn't really felt that hungry.. juz felt the need to eat.. Times flies when ur having fun.. I was so happy playing my guitar at GNC.. that I forgot it's past 630.. haha.. gotta reach music forest by 7.. coz my class at 6 was cancelled.. I was late for ten minutes coz gotta help teacher buy his dinner .. gotta queue up coz it's dinner time... :-p.. but it's fine.. coz he's a great teacher to have :-p

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to see my dear cousin, xi qing at my workplace.. she sort of dropped by with a friend to see me.. her friend.. was also quite sweet as he helped me carry my guitar all the way from my workplace to the mrt station... I am happy to have their company today.. million thanks to them.. :-p

I was at Tan Chang Ren again to watch their performance.. was great as usual.. teacher sang a song he wrote by himself.. great song! ... heard it quite a number of times actually hehe.. but it's getting better each time I hear it.. will get him to send me the song soon.. :-p.. then maybe put it on my blog for all to hear.. :-p going to meet up with them tomorrow :-p

Anyway.. juz some self reflection before I end off after sharing conversations with quite a no of guy friends.. I find that I can conclude.. majority of them will fall in love with someone physically attractive (pretty).. at first sight. In other words.. majority of guys go for appearances... as their top priority.... I guess everyone should know.... ...it's a fact that we must accept…but truth is will a relationship based on appearances last long? U are only in love with what u can see with ur eyes.. .Maybe it really takes more time to know a person's inner beauty.. it does take more than looking at the person with ur naked pair of eyes.. it's easier to be superficial... I guess love at first sight is also based on physical appearance.. I mean will u fall for an unattractive person at one glance..??? ... I personally dun think so....

1:14:00 AM

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Today I was being transferred to raffles city outlet to work.. was at first disappointed to see that Su Hui was not around.. after learning that she will be coming at 2.. I was very happy.. it's been quite some time since I last worked with her.. We took photos as usual.. like we always do in the past.. to sum it all up we had a wonderful time together.. looking forward to our next working session together.. if ever I'm transferred over there again.. =) hopefully soon.. but as usual I gotta trouble her to tell me where the cds are being place..etc always so slow to respond.. but she's really a great person to turn to.. Sorry Su Hui.. I promise to improve.. asap hehe hopefully.. Dearest SuHui I'm looking forward to our K box session.. muz sing loudly ar.. I'll make ur lungs burst haha.. juz kidding la.. ..(if ya reading this can leave a message at my tagboard thks! Love ya!)

Ya today juz realized that my mailbox at my e-mail account was going to explode soon.. about 60 over messages haha..but mostly all junk mails.. as I scroll down the page I saw his name with the message title Hi :- ) ..I actually thought it was a personal message or something.. thinking maybe there will be a twist of fate or something unexpected.. but to my disappointment.. it was juz another junk mail.. It's another one of my silly thoughts.. but anyway pointless to bring up all these.. Coz this entire paragraph will be juz a heap of rubbish to him.. ya.. so it's juz silly me.. imagining some stuffs again as usual.. juz love to day-dream..

Tomorrow I'm working with shu fen .. she's another person I enjoy working with =) can be naggy at times.. but a great colleague .. hope there isn't too much stock though.. may god bless :-p .. So anyone who's reading this.. take care ya.. =) i'm gonna stop here.. for now..

Cheers!

12:53:00 AM

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

It's been quite some time since i wrote anything new... coz my com is having some probs lately...slept at around 2 plus last night... playing my guitar as usual....havent been sleeping much lately.. doing this blog thing.... busy with my guitar... busy with work... later going to school for guitar lessons again...

Yesterday was just another ordinary day for me worked full... some stock came as usual..the usual procedure... putting sensor tags.. packing the cds.. my most dreaded part is to pack the cds... i know i'm quite slow..but i think i've improved by a little .. haha:-o

From thursday... onwards i will have even less time... gotta work... from 1 to 930... after that i'll be heading to join my guitar mates...till quite late i suppose ;-) .... then will be working the following day.. on friday....from 11 to 5... after which will be going for my guitar lesson at 6...then shld be at Tan Chang Ren to watch my teacher and friend's performance ;-) hope he sings huo yun jia.. and kiss goodbye this friday.. haha after that they shld be going clubbing i am not sure whether i have energy to go with them .... i'll try though ;-)
But try not to stay till too late.. coz working on saturday as well... ;-(
it was actually an off day... but they juz called me this morning... for a change of schedule... it's okie la more work equals more cash...right? haha :-0

shall end off here....if anyone have got anything to tell me.. can go leave a message at my tagboard.. under Say it!... ;-) i'll will reply asap...

Cheers!

1:09:00 PM

Today was quite a busy day for me.. as so many stock came at around 130..i only get to sit down and eat my lunch at around 4... shld be called a tea break instead...there were only 2 people including me ...

I juz dun understand why some pple cant stand it when pple backstab them... but they on the other hand can do that to other pple.. I will not mention any names down here for sure... but i juz felt that i need to let this out....

** Dun do to others what u dun wan others to do to u**

But sadly, some people juz dun understand this... let me describe this group of pple though... a self-centred... selfish.... a big bully... backstabber...a great 'actor/actress', irritating.....etc.... this type of person can be so nice to u in front but beware... coz he/she actually bad mouth u behind ur back..

I tried as hard as i could to do what i'm suppose to do... i admit to be quite blur at times... but i really tried my best to do my job...I'm only human i make mistakes at times.... ..i'm not perfect i may be good at some things... but when it comes to other things i may not be as good as expected...but I really feel that i do not deserve all this.... becoz at least i tried my best

I mean if i'm perceived as so useless, lazy n unimportant person or the worst employee anyone could ever get..then juz get rid of me, terminate me...or transfer me out..no need to waste so much saliva it really dirties my back..

The feeling of not being appreciated for ur efforts really sucks....It really does... It sort of lower down ur morale to do ur best to upsell the products.... anyway if u sell plenty also noone will acknowledge ur efforts... To them, it's an obligation...not a bonus..

On the other hand, what's most upsetting is some pple who do not really know how to bla bla bla (shall not say) they are the ones that get praised... being voted as favourite staff by some #*^%~#*.. wow congrats to them ... and guess what i'm the worst staff ever.:-( was quite upset to know that ...

I dunno why i'm still able to stay there since ... they perceived me as a good for nothing..... shld i be considered lucky? a lazy , incompetent staff still able to survive for so long there? haha

However i know not all pple there are like that... i know a few good pple there too.. one of them had already transferred out :-(..... been on good terms with this other staff too.... but it's best they are kept anoymous juz in case one of the backstabbers read this..

Sighz.... maybe that's what working life is all about...i shouldnt take this too hard... i'll try my best to tolerate and bear with it.... until one day when i can no longer hold it no more... i'll quit..

As for my grandma's condition, i heard from my relatives in Malaysia that there are ups and downs for her condition... therefore i'm still very worried for her...Actually dun mind getting bullied as long as she recover completely...but in reality this form of trading/exchange juz dun exist... what a pity...

okie tt's all for today ... gotta catch some sleep tomorrow i gotta face another day at work....*sweat* cant wait for Friday.. for my guitar lesson.... and to hang out with my guitar buddies.... :-p

Cheers...

(Actually Written On 2006-03-29 11:55:14)

11:56:00 AM

I juz came back from malaysia yesterday night... i was very upset upon seeing my grandma's condition...constantly wondering why such a kind-hearted lady like her had to go through all this...i was by her side for the past 2 days...looking at her wrinkled face juz evoke all the past memories i had with her... how she used to take such great care of me.... how she fed me .... teach me to sing oldies.... now she even have difficulty talking...

At the moment... her condition had stabilized.. i hope everything turned out to be fine... she used to be able to tok so loudly effortlessly but now every word that came out fro her mouth appeared to be so tedious... she even had difficulty opening her eyes to look at me... each time she struggled to talk...or when the fit came (her entire body will shiver once in 15 minutes) ... i just couldnt control myself from crying... I know crying doesnt help her condition... my cousin even told me not to cry becoz she was afraid that , if grandma knew that we are crying over her.. she will be very upset...

As much as i could not bear the thought that she had to leave us one day..The sight of her suffering now.. pains me even more....

I really missed those days when she was well... she was constantly there for me... she was afraid that i am hungry ...afraid that i will catch a cold.... its totally impossible to list everything out.. she is juz too incredible to be true....

It's juz too painful to see her lying there now.... she's never been so ill before....

I'll continue to say my prayers for her......i hope she will be able to pull through this obstacle...

(Actually Written On 2006-03-27 01:29:23)

11:54:00 AM

Today's ur birthday.... i didnt wish u .. becoz my wishes are of no importance to u now.... u may think that i've forgotten ... or u will not even notice my absence. as i always say action speaks louder than words....ur action already says it all....it's okie... i will try to learn to come with terms with that...

U will not read this anyway so it's okie.... u shld be busy at the moment with ur friends, family and h**..... to even notice tt i didnt turn up....or reply ..Wish u happiness.. no matter what......but i dun think u even thought of this crap for a second...

-U have my admiration for being able to eliminate the past completely-..

But for my case... i guess Time will teach me how...

At the moment... juz felt anxious about my grandma's condition... cant sleep...it's 2am in the morning.... n i'm still wide awake.. i guess i slept too much in the day.. oh no i'm beginning to lead the lifestyle of an owl... haha... will try to break this habit... got quite a no of habits to break...... my untidiness, daydreaming habits... etc well nobody's perfect .. haha

i guess tt's all will try to catch some sleep now.. before i really turn into a Panda....like what my teacher say haha... BrenDA.. sounds like PanDA.... but too bad he's worse .. he's NoNo..the taiwan host.... hahahhaa juz kidding la...

(Actually Written On 03/25/06 02:30)

11:45:00 AM

It's been another ordinary off day for me.. juz another day for me to catch up on my long-lost sleep... as i've been losing sleep for the past 2 weeks or so...

Sleeping is good as it helps me to get my mind off certain stuffs....when i'm alone i tend to think a lot abt some stuffs... although thinking of it doesnt really quite change anything... but Y shld i ponder over some memories... tt are already meaningless to the person involved? ....but cant help but wonder how fast some pple can change these days? I hope i can change as fast too ... then i will be happier that way... mmmmmm ya it's pointless to hold on to something that doesnt belong to u....i juz need a little more time.. i guess.. The monkey story does knocked some sense out of me...haha only my darling siu yuin will know about this.. Thks darling if u ever read this..(thks for being there) love ya but still love Bambi a bit more.. haha ..coz u also love eski more ma.. Fair and square.. we are quits... :-p

anyway gotta go to malaysia tomorrow to visit my grandma... she's admitted into hospital today.... was very worried about her.. i hope everything will turn out fine... whoever who's reading this.. pls say some prayers for her.. it will be well appreciated ..thanks...

She's the Best grandma i ever had.... :-)

(Actually Written On 03/24/06 10:00)

11:42:00 AM