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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Nothing special for today.. juz wanna pen down some thoughts like i always do... went for my guitar lesson as usual ... this friday's good friday.... which means it's a public holiday and it will mean more pay if i worked the previous day.. so i ask my supervisor to extend my working hours till 10... since there will be no guitar lessons on that day... ;-(... school not open so i might as well... work... ...my way thru...

Well, enuff bout that.. was having some self-reflection as usual... reflect back on certain memories...i juz felt lik a tool.. Maybe to someone.. i am in fact an instrument... or probably a spare tyre... It's totally impossible to prevent me from thinking that way.. I'm not being irrational here.. in fact i am sure of what i'm saying... Am i only fit to be a tool to kill a person's boredom?? ... If the answer is yes.. then i'm sick of it...

U noe what i guess loneliness in a foreign country juz sort of confuses a person's mind.. to the point in which the person loses his senses to know what he really wants..then juz use anyone to kill their boredom...

Maybe ...ignorance may juz be the best remedy... What's the point of sending me the same messages as before... over and over again.. maybe only a fool would not know that.. if u do treasure something after u lose it for the first time.. u will never wanna do another thing to risk losing it again ... in my opinion if u really did something to risk losing it again... then maybe in ur subconsious mind... it's not that important to u after all... and if it's not that important...my suggestion would be to let it go... It's common sense.. why keep something that had already lose it's importance ? why would anyone wanna run after something that he had chose to give up in the first place? it's totally illogical...and selfish...

That incident juz totally disappoint me till the point in which i dun even feel like communicating with that person...that's why i always say never give promises if u have no confidence in keeping it... it sort of deepen the wound even more..I was like thinking whether my feelings were ever being considered in the first place when the decision was made? Since a decision was already made during that point in time then why bother to look me up? to remind me of it? Thanks but i need no reminder... shall end here i guess...my thoughts for today shall end here... still gotta work tomorrow... oh no... with a weird guy who couldnt stop laughing... from another outlet... god bless... hope everything turn out fine tomorrow... pls pls....dun come too much stock... i'm afraid the 3 of us cant handle it... alright wish me all the best...!!

Cheers!

12:19:00 AM