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Thursday, June 15, 2006

WOW.. what a day i had yesterday... the very first time i played guitar and sing at the same time in front of an audience.. not a big group though around 8 ... they are the tuesday class students... lao shi conducted something like a test... to showcase what we've learnt thru the months... some of the students there already learnt for yrs already... I didnt expect that i need to go thru the test as well.. lao shi juz said... "hey ur turn soon ar" ... then i thought he was kidding ... haha but it was for real... so i juz went up and sang landy's "zhu wo sheng ri kuai le" ... haha.. was so nervous..firstly coz i didnt prepare... secondly .. juz afraid of the thought that people are looking and listening to me... luckily there wasnt any drastic mistake made ..:-p .. but to be honest i wasnt really happy with my performance.. :-( i felt that i can do better then that...when most of the students all didnt gave any constructive comment.. i thought my case was beyond hope already.... but lao shi said it's not .. PHEW!!!... he said it was not bad for a first-timer ..however gotta take note of certain things.. he pointed out my mistakes yesterday... i muz try my best to rem.. and do better next time.. :-p

Today i felt naseous ... felt like puking the whole day :-(... once i reached home i head for the bed... i was like on the verge of puking .. i rather juz vomit it out to feel better but i did not... i lie on the bed... and fell asleep after some time... actually was planning to ask someone out this evening for dinner/drinks. luckily i didnt coz wasnt feeling well.. if i actually ask the person out and cancelled it... then it wont be good.. like playing the person out.. so thank god i didnt.... coz i wouldnt like it either if people played me out ... :-(

Sometimes i wonder what life will be like for me, if guitar does not exist in this world... and singing is not my passion.... i guess guitar and singing brighten up my life... its' existence make me feel that my presence is worthwhile...of course.. it brings me satisfaction and most importantly.. brought positive changes to my social life because of guitar and singing i got to know great buddies with similar passion.. It changes my perspective on certain things.... and adds on a brand new chapter in my life.... :-p At least...i got something to look forward to... In the past.. i spent most of my spare time..indulging in my own thoughts...and the more i indulge in my own thoughts... the loneliness was overwhelming... :-(

Well.. at least for now.. i juz wanna improve on my guitar and singing... its indeed not easy to play and sing at the same time...someone once told me a good guitarist may not necessary be able to sing and play at the same time... i dunno how true is this.... juz a comment... :-p Going back to OB tomorrow again... hehe.... wonder if there are any tests conducted.. OB seems like a second home..at least for now it seems like it.. i go there almost everyday.. :-p

*Being the one making the first move is tiring in friendships*

*Let nature take it's course*

*Sometimes I feel neglected ... felt that I'm the only one in this world...*

**Am I forgotten, or am I already another forgotten stranger once again**

*If I were to say goodbye and never come back.. will you even feel a tinge of sadness?**

No one likes to be alone.... even if they hate to admit it... but deep down.. i believe no one love the feeling of loneliness.... People who claim themselves as loners are merely juz people who couldnt find the courage to admit the truth.

Thursday

7.59pm

14-06-06

*Singing leads my soul... Guitar is a part of me..Music captivates me*

Cheers!

1:15:00 AM