Thursday, August 17, 2006
Everything's back to square one again, as expected...Sometimes I wonder what's exactly wrong with me? Why do I have to feel like this? Is it really all worth it? On a logical point of view, it's obviously not worth it... but certain things it's certainly not within my control....
I noe noone can actually bring me out of this .. except for me, myself and I...
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It's of absolutely no significance to anyone no more.. It's certain .. it's true.. it's a reality to accept....The repetitive cycle is tiring and draining..... all this has to come to an end... this time around... it's really a full-stop.... it's no longer a comma ... not anymore....
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Not another sleepless night.. as i lay on my bed... having flash-backs on my mind....thinking thinking.... until i could feel my t**** flow...
I dont seem to be able to excel in anything in life... studies? nah i dun think so... Guitar? no not good at all... the 'feel' element is missing... i've yet to find it... ;-(.... Singing? .. nah worse......the 'power' element was never there.... relationships? forget it ....
I clearly know where i stand..
tt's why i always say liking to do something... doesnt necessarily mean u have to be good at it... u juz have interest in it tt's all...
Basically what i have to do now is to place my full attention on my upcoming exams...that's what i wanna do and that's what i should do....
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*It will be great to have a shoulder to cry on... and someone to hug when ya feeling down...**
*Everyone needs company... i'm no exception*
*To think that I nearly fell for the lies....i was juz another step away into believing.....however everything is so clear now... **
*Clearly see the difference... Y** are happier than before**
*Finally came to an end... Goodbye...**
Thursday
4.00pm
17-08-06
*heading off to work... :-(**
3:35:00 PM
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Tomorrow will be our project's execution day.. I hope everything goes on smoothly.. actually all ask for is a pass haha.. Culinary's hardly my forte... I know it...After Monday.. i gotta start worrying about my exams.... :-( ...
Well, at least my eyelid tremors had finally came to an end...:-p... marketing oral assessment wasnt as difficult as i thought it would be...i guess it's coz the teacher was being kind...I hope she could be generous and kind towards my results too.. haha ... t's what's most impt...Juz watched click.. yesterday.. great movie.. i dunno whether to cry or laugh during the movie... one minute i had tears welling up my eyes... another minute i can't help giggling .. not exactly a comedy throughout.. from the movie i can sense the message it's trying to imply... The value of kinship is the most important.. ..Adam Sandler's great.... full of wit and humour.. :-p.. At the end i realize that having that universal remote isnt exactly flawless... often having something powerful ...comes with it a set of consequences u have to bear with. i enjoyed the movie... :-p Looking forward to the next movie.. :-p
i also watched a drama serial recently and one of the actors mentioned something really meaningful.. he said... in relationships if u r the one giving most of the time ... u r often the one that hurt the most... however... during the course of the relationship the happiness and joy received is more than the other party....always rem when u experience something bad that is bound to be something u can gain as well.. one shld never keep thinking that he/she is on the losing end.. therefore.. dun ever wallow in self-pity after the relationship ended.. take it as a lesson learnt move on.... come out stronger emotionally... and it wil eventually shine on ur appearance and how u carry urself...
Of course it will be difficult if ur the one who's in all the mess.. however.. after some time when the smoke has cleared and when ur mind's clearer... all this will make sense to u....
Sometimes when i'm alone i sit and wonder.. why humans particularly members of the opposite sex.... are so superficial..no matter the age... the top priority will still be appearance.. i read in a magazine.. tt although as years goes by realization that personality is also impt.. however eye candy is something not to be neglected also... always... Perhaps it's juz nature.. and a reality to accept.. tt's life...
Thoughts..
*Confusion of feelings ia a norm.. but always believe that it will subside and disappear as time goes by*
*Till now.. i'm confused with the difference btw liking someone and....??***
*A tinge of weird feeling...inexplicable.... probably juz another something that will eventually lead to nothing as usual..**
*Hide and seek is my forte*
*Tomorrow will be a better day...**
*May the execution be a success! :-p**
Sunday
5.00pm
13-08-06
Cheers!
4:18:00 PM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
My right eyelid have been twitching for days.... today's the fifth day...it's irritating me to the core...since wednesday it's been twitching on and off.... is there any cure for it? or do i just sit and wait for it to go away by itself? Oh gosh... some pple say right eyelid twitches signify that something good will happen.. well. .. i doubt so.. it's already been 5 days.. i only feel irritated tt's all... so i doubt that myth...
I got to face facts whether i like it or not.. tt's life... i was silly to believe in what i shouldnt believe in...my cousin also urged me to do the right thing... never look back into the past anymore... coz it's not worth it at all.. because the determination element was never there right from the start. . well at least now i've learnt and seen the truth.. the truth is ugly.. but then again acceptance is never a choice it's a must.... I learnt my lesson... happening once again.. as expected.. hard to trust anyone again... therefore never believe in anyone's words completely... no matter how convincing it may seemed...
Eyelid tremors apart... ntg unusual happened to me lately..still projects.. work and guitar... went out yesterday to have a look at some guitars... i still loved the light brown simple one... although it it cant be plucked to speakers.. but it really looked fantastic.... how nice if i could own one of those guitar.. :-p.. however i know lao shi will prefer me or whoever person who wanna buy guitar to get one that can be plucked to speaker.... but to be honest i dun find it tt useful as it will sound softer than a normal guitar if u don't pluck to speakers.. for me... i dun really get the chance to use the speakers anyway.. ...so will prefer the light brown one.. hehe
tt guitar really looks great... :-p... but dun think i can afford it... so i will juz continue to dream on first... then think of a way to save up... quite hard for me as i dun have time to work .. and the pay i get monthly will never be enuff... coz still got other expenses to deal with...
I will get the guitar one day.. the only way is to save up... wat else? go and rob a guitar... hehe
Thoughts.......
*Leading a routine everyday.... **
*I need a change... school sucks...**
*Is it so easy to fall in love with someone?**
*Never say things u are unsure of...it's unfair and irresponsible**
*Perhaps it was not a change... it's juz mere indecisiveness of not being sure of what one wants..*
*True love exist only when u found someone who's totally irreplaceable.., therefore never say u love someone when u can easily find someone to replace him/her....**
Sunday
9.45pm
06-08-06
Cheers!
9:07:00 PM
