Thursday, November 30, 2006
Today i overslept.. the lesson was suppose to start at 10... guess what i woke up at 9.30.. got quite a shock when i looked at my clock juz now... so i decided to clash the afternoon lecture which starts at 2.. sighz........... dun even feel like going actually.. but am afraid wun be able to catch up during tutorial so decided to go... wanted to catch some sleep actually since already going for afternoon lect.. but guess what though i'm tired... i simply cant get to full sleeping mode... :-( tt's the worse feeling.. can't sleep when u CAN sleep...
Moving on the other matters in my life.. ya gonna save up to get myself a pair of ear phones now....save up? when i'm not actually getting a fix income every month? a bit tough... havent bought my transport concession fee yet... furthermore still in debt.. owe joch 20 bucks....
okie now i'm bascially saving up on my remaining savings.....
oh no i'm complaining again..... shucks...
Furthermore, Dec to me is a killer month... full of birthdays.... my B.I.L's birthday... my mom's birthday...anyway... juz let me rattle on.... and on....
changed my blog song again to "nan yong"... ... haha... love this song a lot...
very cute..melody is upbeat.. and the lyrics is so sweet :-p... love the lyrics....guess will have to figure out the chords myself le..
alright shall end here for today...
*不知不 觉。。已经 两个月。。希望能一直 持 续到最后。。*
*有些事情若 明 说。。就 会失去它原本的意 义。。那 么就算了。。以后 都 别再提了*
*总之还是老话一句。。一 个动作胜过于一万个字。。*
不明白。。那就算了
30-11-06
Thursday
10.50am
10:07:00 AM
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Another day at school...juz got one of the grades for our project.. one word to sum it up.. "Lousy"...:-(.. this semester is really not going very well... firstly the schedule is hectic.. the deadlines are crazy and it's suffocating all of us... secondly...with the loss of my grandma... things appear to be worse...thirdly.. i'm broke.. havent had enough time n energy to work due to the projects....i badly needed a charger to recharge....
I wish i'm a faster learner.. in that way i will then be able to master everything at a faster rate... then i can do a better job in my studies..wishes are wishes... most wishes do not come true.. u can wish for this ... wish for that..... but ntg will come true... i noe it coz i have been having a certain wish since young... no its not about wishing to be a faster learner... i noe this wun come true.... it's another childhood wish i got since young ever since i got into contact with music and song composing..... the wish was mentioned in my previous post i think... anyway...wun come true also...quite impractical also.. .. imaginations are part and parcel of life.... will cont wishing though... hoping for miracle.. may all my wishes come true....
tomorrow got another test... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr... sighz...and i dun really know it well... oh gosh.... school life indeed sucks.....
if only i can leave this place.......to somewhere without all this rubbish...
Get me out of here...
对于你是否有看 过我写的一切。。仍然是 个迷。。如果有看。
怎么没回应.....
那看和不看又有什 么分别 ?
算了。。反正 強 逼也不會帶給我快樂
有些事情。。 或 许对你来说不是很重要。但 对我来说刚好相反。。
但无 论如何还是要 谢谢 你的鼓 励和支持......
maybe i'm juz feeling stressed up..... sighz....
Signing off.....
28-11-06
Tuesday
7.50pm
7:09:00 PM
Sunday, November 26, 2006
This is another late night out... enjoyed myself... it's been a long time since i last watched a movie... although the movie wasnt as good as what i expected.. perhaps in my point of view.. it's not the movie that really matters.. what's most impt is who u r watching it with.. :-p
However, there were a couple of hicupps along the way today.... my guitar string snapped... and i went to town to buy ... bought one.... then walked all the way to cine ... then it snapped again.. guess what we ran back to ps intending to buy the string before they close.. but when we reached guess wat? the shop close already.. :-(... wa.... all the sweat... all the energy... wasted....was totally regretting why i didnt buy 2 strings juz in case...
But...I was happy that someone ran like crazy juz to get me another string... although we didnt eventually got the string in the end.. but it's the thought that really matters... Thanks... i was happy that u put in effort and tried ur best to get me that string .. :-p ur thought is appreciated...
Lately... I am beginning to love Wu Ke Qun's songs more and more... maybe his songs need to be heard more than one time... to love it.. coz i used to dislike "jiang jun ling" but lately grew to love it...he is another talented artist that made his entire album himself...i totally admire people who write their own songs.. know how to play instrument... :-p... It has always been a wish of mine since young to have someone to write a song juz for me.. hehe.. :-p.. a bit diffcult... but then if it's not difficult it will not be so touching anymore right? .....
I muz heighten my performance level each time i go up on stage to perform at the pub... firstly i got to work on my guitar skills....this is a great challenge coz my guitar skills is quite lousy... i'm lousy at the beat.... and tempo... :-(... i wish i had the time to practice hard ... but with the project tasks to complete.. it's hard... :-( I'm already looking forward to the 2 weeks semester break... which is a few weeks later.. haha... so that i can really spend all my time to work on my guitar skills...
I'm thankful that i have his guidance and patience with my guitar skills.... with him... i'm sure i will be able to improve... :-p...
*希望 你愿意牢牢地 记住我对你说的每一个字。。每一句话。。因 为我原意，也一
定 会这么做。。只要 你肯对我说， 我一定会一直在你身旁仔细的聆听着你的每一个
字。。每一句话*
*也许，如果在一 开始就能看 见幸福，那或许 我们也不会把爱看清楚。。。如果 这
是通往 爱的路，也 许过程早已注定要有困 难的存在。。但因 为有你的相伴。。我
从不后悔 选择这条路。。相信只要我 们手紧紧握着，我们一定能一起走到最后。。*
*我深信，也一直希望我 们早已是注定好的命 定 恋人，彼此的唯一
希望你也有同感*
*因为你的出现。。 我的世界也 从此变得有色彩...
那你呢？**
26-11-06
Sunday
6.03am
4:52:00 AM
Friday, November 24, 2006
It's been quite some time since i last blogged... it's already the 24th...last blog since the 6th... tmr i got a presentation... sighz... cant get to sleep so decided to blog...i have been real busy with projects... work.. lately .... projects indeed sucks... stressful... the pain of getting everything done before the nearing deadlines... oh gosh... :-( it worsens when u dunno where to start... too much data...too little time... :-(....
Sometimes when i'm alone i start to ponder... if only i am a smarter person... if only i can absorb things at a faster rate...then school work will seem a lot easier.. then i can play more and study less... if only i'm richer..(dun have to work).... if only... in life there is juz too many " if onlys ".....
i guess it's normal for people to have these 2 words "If Only" in their minds ..... perhaps..it's juz the difference in frequency but i guess it will surely exist at least one time in each person's mind...or maybe more than once? .... maybe?
I guess it's because no one's perfect.... therefore we often find fault on our flaws and think of a couple of "If onlys" to get rid of these unwanted flaws in us.... or it's a situation that we wish to get out of... that's why we tend to use a few more "If onlys" to imagine ourselves out of the situation....
well.. but sadly "If only" is only a thought... it doesnt change anything... if it does.. the first thing i wanna change will be to turn situation B into A... but i do not have the power nor the ability to change anything...i felt so useless at times...maybe i am?
useless in quite a no of ways...
useful in ???
*也许我有 时太傻太呆又太 闷 ， 甜言蜜语不是我的 风格
但请你一定要相信， 真心从来不会少一分。。*
*我相信只要 紧紧抱著，你的手就 温暖了。。无论睡著或 醒著， 我的手 为你加温
就算明天崩 塌又如何，只要我 们手紧紧握著。。就算外面天再 冷
我们都能一起面对。。。我陪 你走到最后。*
*我不想放 弃， 也不 会离你而去。。我全心全意，等 你的消息。。相 信 会 有那么一天**
*只要你不拒 绝。。我 会一直在 你身边守着你， 你呢？*
*我不知道明天 过后会如何。。但我知道我希望我的未 来有你。。希望 你也和我一样*
Friday
2.50am
24/11/06
1:53:00 AM
Monday, November 06, 2006
Mind filled with her images... as i continued embarking on the journey of life..... Tears well up my eyes everytime i thought of her.. her time with me.... the unforgettable moments...moments with her.. had turned into memories...Can't bear to lose her....
Life itself has it's own set of ups and downs... Life is fragile...life is always unpredictable with it's own uncontrollable twist of fate... sometimes i sat here wondering... will i be happier with a monotonous life? i dun think so... i think it's tough for humans to be fully satisfied with his/her current situation... when i have this.. i want that.. when i have that... i kind of miss having this...
am i juz so difficult to satisfy?
When u have a complicated life ... u tend to envy those with simpler lifestyle...
simple life may mean for example;Situation A: when 2 people can be happily together without any form of restrictions... no form of constrictions juz happily together ..without hiding .. without fearing... having the luxury of everybody's blessings....the most innocent form of happiness....
However, when u lead such a simple lifestyle... perhaps u will feel bored...perhaps u will start to take things for granted... most humans do... u start to long for a more complicated life... u wld wan something interesting.. something out of the blue....perhaps being in a situation B whereby u have a constant fear of someone having to leave u, due to extraordinary circumstances...... (like those situations which u think will only happen in drama serials.. but it's actually happening to u..)..... does this sound more interesting? but usually interesting often means that there will be risks involved...
so am i a risk-taker? i doubt so.....
If given a choice... i rather be in situation A... whereby.. everything in my life goes smoothly with minimal obstacles... without any form of restrictions... without hiding .. no fearing that someone might leave me... and most imptly having everybody's blessings...
but i chose situation A.. probably coz i'm caught up in situation B..?
rem? humans? never satisfied?
I wonder what will it be like if i'm in situation A... the peaceful scenario that most pple are going thru .... will i be satisfied? Will everything btw us change? who knows?
In life i cant choose option A or B... it's fate i guess..... perhaps i really have to believe what's meant to be will be.... let nature take it's course and hope for a miracle that can transform situation B into situation A.... coz i really dun wish to lose everything i'm having now...
I cherish everything i have now.... I long for the day when i can proudly say that i'm in situation A...
Will there be such a day? I dunno.... sadly it's not within my control..... coz if it is i will do anything to salvage the situation.... i believe u are feeling the same way as i do... right?
*我知道我 们都没有错，我还不想放手。。因 为彼此说过要陪对方一起走到最后。。对吗？*
*让你我一起期待会有那么一天。。我 们能牵着手一起走到最后。。好 吗？*
*对你发脾气的是我，对你忽冷忽 热的又是我， 真的对不起。。。请你不 要怀疑
我。。因 为我会很难受。。请你一定要相信我， 好 吗？...
我只是不善 于 清楚的表达自己的心意而已。。。。请别误解我。。
*虽然一直没说, 但很感 谢也很开心你在这段我最难熬的日子。。所 给予我的关怀，照顾 与鼓励。。真希望能 够一直这样到永恒。。。可以 吗？*
*想念 奶奶的心。。 会一直延续着。。因 为真的好爱她**
*我深信奶奶就在离家不远的地方。。过着没有病魔的日子。。再一 次 与爷爷
重缝**
我们要一起走到最后。。好 吗？
12-11-06
Sunday
4.50am
8:08:00 PM
Sunday, November 05, 2006
The earth continues to turn... each day passes as usual...nothing can stop this nature... no matter what happen.. be it a disaster... a joyous event...or....the loss of someone dear to u .. life still goes on...
it's a tough period to go through... besides having to get over this painful loss....everything continues as usual... school work... the overwhelming projects demand to meet... i think it's due to all the grief and the stress....the sleepless nights... the late nights out.. the irregularity of meals at times.... that's taken the toil on my body.... i finally fell sick.. i lost my voice....got quite a serious sore throat at the moment.. got some medicine to reduce the imflammation.... i could only whisper now.....or make a few sounds.... :-( it's such a torture esp for someone who love to sing so much... i have difficulty to speak let alone sing :-(
hoping to get well soon...
At the mean time.. i'm quite lost as to how to deal with the projects... i felt like i'm stuck in the maze ... sometimes it's not that i dun wanna do it.. it's i duno know how to go about doing it... where to start...? ..How to start? ... But i will try my best... that's about what i should do....
I juz felt that my life hasnt been that great these days.. ever since this semester start... there seemed to be quite a few unhappy events.... for this sem..everything seems so fast... the projects deadlines.... like so soon.. i dunno if i can survive.. coz i'm such a slow person in learning...
This is also the semester which i cried the most ever since the first day i step into Tp... coz of my beloved grandma.... ;-(
It's gonna take some time to get over this.... i still gotta cope with the school work too.....Life sucks...
*The smiles do not show the sorrow i experienced...I chose to face everyone with a smile... coz i do not like pple around me to be negatively affected by my emotions... it's unfair to them...it isnt their fault in the first place*
*When i'm alone.. i dun seem to be able to hold back the tears.... when i see ur photos... juz feel really down... coz i cant see u anymore... Grandma... can u appear in my dreams? pls pls ... i wanna see u again...**
*我还是好想你。。真的。。奶奶好想好想你。。你知道吗？*
*对你而言，这是一种解脱。。。对我而言。。失去你是我心中永 远的痛。。奶奶， 我爱你*
*面对着我身边的人。。依然带着微笑。。但背对他们的时候。。。仍然会不禁掉下眼泪。。
但还是要感谢身边的人。。分散我的注意力。。好 让我能微笑**
*我不要一个人。。我讨厌一个人。。我不想一个人。。*
*有些事情。。对你而言，不算什 么。。甚至可以说是微不足道。。。但 对我而言，
却 比 你想象中的还重要。。。你懂吗？*
Sunday
05-11-06
8.06pm
8:31:00 PM
