Monday, November 06, 2006
Mind filled with her images... as i continued embarking on the journey of life..... Tears well up my eyes everytime i thought of her.. her time with me.... the unforgettable moments...moments with her.. had turned into memories...Can't bear to lose her....
Life itself has it's own set of ups and downs... Life is fragile...life is always unpredictable with it's own uncontrollable twist of fate... sometimes i sat here wondering... will i be happier with a monotonous life? i dun think so... i think it's tough for humans to be fully satisfied with his/her current situation... when i have this.. i want that.. when i have that... i kind of miss having this...
am i juz so difficult to satisfy?
When u have a complicated life ... u tend to envy those with simpler lifestyle...
simple life may mean for example;Situation A: when 2 people can be happily together without any form of restrictions... no form of constrictions juz happily together ..without hiding .. without fearing... having the luxury of everybody's blessings....the most innocent form of happiness....
However, when u lead such a simple lifestyle... perhaps u will feel bored...perhaps u will start to take things for granted... most humans do... u start to long for a more complicated life... u wld wan something interesting.. something out of the blue....perhaps being in a situation B whereby u have a constant fear of someone having to leave u, due to extraordinary circumstances...... (like those situations which u think will only happen in drama serials.. but it's actually happening to u..)..... does this sound more interesting? but usually interesting often means that there will be risks involved...
so am i a risk-taker? i doubt so.....
If given a choice... i rather be in situation A... whereby.. everything in my life goes smoothly with minimal obstacles... without any form of restrictions... without hiding .. no fearing that someone might leave me... and most imptly having everybody's blessings...
but i chose situation A.. probably coz i'm caught up in situation B..?
rem? humans? never satisfied?
I wonder what will it be like if i'm in situation A... the peaceful scenario that most pple are going thru .... will i be satisfied? Will everything btw us change? who knows?
In life i cant choose option A or B... it's fate i guess..... perhaps i really have to believe what's meant to be will be.... let nature take it's course and hope for a miracle that can transform situation B into situation A.... coz i really dun wish to lose everything i'm having now...
I cherish everything i have now.... I long for the day when i can proudly say that i'm in situation A...
Will there be such a day? I dunno.... sadly it's not within my control..... coz if it is i will do anything to salvage the situation.... i believe u are feeling the same way as i do... right?
*我知道我 们都没有错，我还不想放手。。因 为彼此说过要陪对方一起走到最后。。对吗？*
*让你我一起期待会有那么一天。。我 们能牵着手一起走到最后。。好 吗？*
*对你发脾气的是我，对你忽冷忽 热的又是我， 真的对不起。。。请你不 要怀疑
我。。因 为我会很难受。。请你一定要相信我， 好 吗？...
我只是不善 于 清楚的表达自己的心意而已。。。。请别误解我。。
*虽然一直没说, 但很感 谢也很开心你在这段我最难熬的日子。。所 给予我的关怀，照顾 与鼓励。。真希望能 够一直这样到永恒。。。可以 吗？*
*想念 奶奶的心。。 会一直延续着。。因 为真的好爱她**
*我深信奶奶就在离家不远的地方。。过着没有病魔的日子。。再一 次 与爷爷
重缝**
我们要一起走到最后。。好 吗？
12-11-06
Sunday
4.50am
8:08:00 PM
