Sunday, December 31, 2006
Juz another day lazing around at home...added some stuffs to my project.. but cannot work on some other projects due to the inability in internet connection at my home... sighz... so another day sort of wasted... i truly know the importance of internet access now... used to take it for granted...
Today it rained the whole day as usual... was suppose to meet someone actually today.. something cropped up didnt meet up in the end... kind of disappointedbut no one's to blame... but juz can't help feeling disappointed... got called back to school to practise but i did not go either... due to special reasons..I can't post this blog today (thursday) as there is no internet connection so only get to post this post today ...few days late
I was told not to go to music school alone ... due to special reasons.... I may have less freedom to do whatever i wan now... but i'm happier than before... It's a complete new experience for me.. coz i never experienced this form of control before...
A good friend of mine asked me how am i going to celebrate my 21st birthday which is juz a few days away... i scratched my head ... pause for a moment then realised that i do not know myself either... it's funny although it's going to be my birthday soon... i am not really looking forward to it...maybe coz i willhave to go back to school after that.. :-( Used to be quite excited about my birthday... but this year.. no.. not excited at all...maybe coz i already pictured that day... as juz another ordinary day... i know what's going to happen.. i know what to expect.. that's why dun feel any excitement ? probably so...For me...althought i love surprises like everyone else...i noe that no one is really oblige in providing me with any form of surprise... if there's any .of course it's a bonus and i will be real happy....but if dun have... then juz maybe smile and forget about it... tt's life... Surprises are bonuses ... I love it.. but i wun die without it...
Still rem my saddest birthday years ago... never forget that birthday... it was the worse.. not many pple know about this... but i will always rem it.. deep impression .. and i wun forget Landy wen's "Zhu wo sheng ri kuai le" song too...sad song that brought back some sad memories Looking at the past i learnt a lot...i was told by someone not to sing that song anymore..
i think i will spend January the 1st.. sleeping?.. doing project? ... resting? Going out? probably.. all expected... than it will be school reopen... projects.. tests and exams... all coming my way... i can already picture my stressed up look...i longed for march to quickly arrive coz that's when a genuine holiday starts..I longed to go overseas during that period..i never consider this 2 weeks break as a holiday coz i still got school work stuffs to worry about .... :-(...
I was happy the wish i made last year had came true... :-p Let's hope my wishes come true yearly.. :-p I already have in mind what i wanna wish for already hehe :-p
*glad that there was unhappiness when i have special contact with certain pple*
*希望你现在能够感受到我对你的关心
*从来也没有那么强烈的感觉。。一种连自己也解释不了的感觉。。好奇妙*
*从前不可能的都已变可能。。那世上还有什么事是不可能的呢？*
我清楚知道我要的是什么。。
Thursday
28/12/06
1:12:00 PM
Sunday, December 24, 2006
I slept late last night as usual...coz after the audition at the pub went to hang out ...the audition wasnt that much of a success ... some hiccups along the way...each time i go perform i learnt something new. I love to perform.. even though sometimes i may screw things up and end up in disappointment.....but in the pub yesterday the mic and sound system is a lot better than the pub on thursday night. .. but dun think we can get it... first interview screwed up? i'm not sure.. not very happy with our performance overall....i think we did a better job on thursday...it's juz that because we were late the boss wasnt too please with us ....
Thursday night was juz a chance for us to practice performing in front of a crowd... managed to get some response on Thursday saying some lame stuffs...... but there is satisfaction everytime there is response from the crowd. ... but anyway the system there sucks big time.. i cant hear what i'm singing most of the time....
I was not very pleased with the performance yesterday.... it's not a matter of whether we get the job it's a matter of whether i meet my own expectations.... i think i probably can do better than that...i juz feel that certain things are unfair.. that's all.... u can work so hard to do something but get no recognition... whilst someone else didnt really work at all... but was juz born with it... gets everyone's recognition....Life's unfair...juz gotta live with it..
tell u a sad story .. say there is this girl named G... and a boy named B.. G knew about her bad temper and promised B to change it .. B said he understood but looking at this situation i dun think so... as everyone knows changing a part of ur personality takes time it's not instant....G tried her best to change but at times couldnt control herself .... B was unhappy... but he didnt tell G... G tought that everything was fine.....until one day came across B's blog.. than G was totally upset and disappointed, surprised that she makes such a lousy gf without knowing it.....
It's very sad for G to find out that not even one of B's blog is a happy post.... every post is upset... G felt lousy ... useless... that she knew nothing about all these.... thinking and thinking for the past few days... the mistakes she made unknowingly... G really did tried her best.... but B do not seem to feel it.... why do B only have to view at G's faults? dont G have a good side too?
Is it fair for B to compare G with other people juz coz G may be insensitive or lose her temper at times? G really tried her best to change... G had never been that accommodating to anyone but B in her whole life....G do not blame B ... she juz felt upset and sad that's all....sad that B only mentioned G's faults but not the things that G did for B that made him happy..... fro the posts ... G only read about her own faults.... post after post... it's quite upsetting and hurting for her to handle...for anyone to be in G's shoes.. knowing ur bf was unhappy each time he hang out with u... is really an upsetting thing.... however she tried to tell B but B say forget it..push the topic away... G juz felt upset ...:-( she never felt so upset before..... she now know that she is a lousy gf ... feeling like a total useless bum...B sometimes do not know the amount of insecurity G has when wif B.. but it doesnt matter she do not wish to say anyway.. B do not noe how much G regret and felt guilty each time she loses her temper at B.... Didnt G did something that let B happy before? it appears 100 percent of all the posts are the things that G did that upset B... but nothing that G did that made B happy.... tt's why G felt useless.... she actually did nothing to make someone happy.... i dun blame her... if i were her i felt useless too.....
G was juz upset why B do not even feel the slightest love from G?... it appears to be this way on his blog....
sad story? ... i would have been real upset if i were G...sighz forget it....
okie gtg
Thank someone for being there for me once again.. i appreciate it :-p it's amazing how u r always the first one to notice when i'm upset or in tears.....
*失败是拿来形容我 吗?*
*我只能默默在 这叹气。。想想我 给你的伤害。。我有时忘了你对我的期待。。但我
真的真的不是故意的。。原 来你是那么的不开心 。。如果说我不是故意的我想 你也
不会开心点。。：-(**
*我真的好努力。。从来也没有为过谁那么努力过。。只可惜你都没有感觉到。。有可
能是我的努力还是不够。根本没有达到你的要求。。真的难过*
这几天其实好难过。。想这件事想得好辛苦但我也没跟你说。。算了：-( 叹气都是我不好：-(
你 知不知道我知道后有多 难 过吗？有多沮 丧。。 伤心。。失 败：-(
*原 来我是一个成功的失 败者。。样样做的都比 别人差。。叹气*
I'm juz Down.....
1.13pm
Sunday
24-12-06
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
12:06:00 PM
Thursday, December 21, 2006
It's been days since i last wrote something here... these days the earliest i sleep wld be like 3am haha... quite early right? haha... latest around 6am.. or is that very early already.....:-p
These days have been going back to music sch to practise practise practise... i'm not sure if practise actually makes perfect but i certainly cant do without practise.....anyway for the first half of the performance i will only be doing back up vocal... so it's sort of like a warm up section for me haha... for my throat too .......if we ever get to the second section of the performance it will be stressful section for me... got to play the guitar plus sing.... then after that section relax all the way hahaha.... juz shake shake the tamborine a bit... crap more on stage to pass time to conserve energy to sing less songs...
I muz really try my best to completely overcome stage phobia..... last night i sang three songs at the pub... okie at least i made a slight improvement by introducing myself ... what song i'm singing .. and said thank you haha... in the past i only sing and said nothing.... muz remind myself there is nothing to be afraid of... customers are only humans.....they are only there to pass time and to keep themselves entertained... whilst the duty for pple on stage ... is to entertain them .... ho ho ho... easier said than done....saying i am not afraid at all ? kk i'm telling a lie...
being off stage and on stage is a totally enitre different feel....
Tonight is the final showdown... laoshi wldnt be joining us... coz he will be at a different pub tonight... shucks... i'm not sure whether we can make it thru the 3 sections......dun wish to let him down....
No matter what i noe someone will be there watching my performance..... :-p... happy to have u around through all of my practices..... training sessions.... and most importantly... my "shitty" performances...in which i play the least important role ...hope i dun bore u too much.....ya?
Thanks for being there... ur support is priceless :-p... i totally appreciate it...Ur presence matters a lot to me... I'm sorry to lose my temper at u at times... i didnt mean it... I juz speak without thinking... i really dun wish to be like that... i always felt guilty each time i said something without sparing a thought for ur feelings....u noe females got mood swings... not a totally good excuse... but it's part of the reason....and the late nights out had probably taken the toil out of me.... lack of sleep... no wun happen again ... u muz cont to support me k? :-p Rem to clap louder tonight..... hehe and one more request... can sing me a song soon? :-p
*有时候缘分这东西是很 难说的。。不可能的事也有可能 变可能。。*
*想不到。。我兜了一大圈。。最后竟在我毫 无妨备的时候兜到 你身边。。*
*希望你能包容我的缺点。。不要再做比 较。。因 为我会很不好受的*
*别人做的事， 我 也 许没做到。。。但我做的 事 别人也未必有做到。。
明白 吗？*
*每个人的思想。。性格。。表 达方式。。都不一 样。。怎能做比 较呢？* *但我能 确定的是， 每次只要你一离开我的视线。。我的思念就 开始。。*
Everyone reading this:
Do wish me all the best for tonight's performance... i hope can make it thru the 3 sections without any hicupps.....Thks :-p
Thursday
21-12-06
1.40pm
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
12:39:00 PM
Friday, December 15, 2006
These 2 days hasnt been tt great for me... not feeling well is one thing .. another thing will be some other personal matters....sometimes i feel like a failure... everything i do i'm always below others.... be it.. studies or other stuffs ... i may study hard for my exams.. but in the end my grades is still below others... does not really reflect the amount of hard work i put in at times....
Even things i love..for example guitar... i may have improved but still way way way below the standard.... can juz take it as i do not know what is a guitar.... ok.. maybe i set high expectations for myself on certain things....I put in effort...I tried....
Heard that stress is required in order to learn.... Perhaps i got to learn it the hard way... sometimes setting high expectations..... will cause me to fall harder......
Everyone's got a forte.. something they are extremely good at... but i dun think i have one... because... my standard is always average... passable but not that fabulous.... for everything i do it's never on the fabulous stage... it's always somewhere in the middle..... therefore.. constantly below others.... sometimes felt useless...
There's another performance again tonight.... i wonder how everything will go but anyway... this time i'm doing back up vocals.... not that important anyway haha...
It's really time to let the past be the past... i shld juz stop brooding over it...pointless and useless...
These days i felt quite blue... but i'm lucky that someone was there for me throughout.... at least i do not feel totally alone... The support ... the concern was deeply appreciated.. whenever i'm feeling the most down... the person was there... seen the most fragile part of me... and provide me with a shoulder to cry on....
U know who u r..... Thanks :-p hope that u will cont to support and care for me for always...ok?
*如果那天没有你的陪伴，我也不知该如何是好。。*
*原来当一个人感到最 无助时。。可以如此脆弱。。这一面的我 从来也很少被旁人看到。。唯有 你感觉得到。。看得 清楚我的感觉*
*世界上唯有 你最懂我。。*
*希望能一直持 续到最后。。不要改 变。。*
*It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. ..*
15/12/06
12.25pm
Friday
11:36:00 AM
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Okie..It's 2 plus in the morning and i'm not asleep....juz felt like writing something.... the good thing about blogs is there is no standard format haha.. no standard font u muz follow.. no need to justify... can use words like "it's", "juz" freely... unlike doing a stupid report... like this cannot.. like that cannot again lor...
i juz watched the Korean movie "Cinderella" .. i dun even know what the plot is exactly about... haha.. ok it's about plastic surgery .. a psychotic mother... and a few teenagers... i think the movie's too focus on scaring people .... that's why loses it's significance of telling the audience more clearly about the plot... haha....
Ran into someone ..yesterday... didnt really get to see his face properly but got his message instead... he was actually "hiding" behind me haha...well i wld say the horse gave the grass way too many chances to prove... but too bad the grass gave up the chances to someone else ... i think the horse had waited long enough.....
Oh .. yesterday...I wanted to play a song for someone... but the 2 strings of my guitar snapped again whilst tuning... oh gosh!!!... NOT again... why must it happen of all times... i sacrificed my sleep time to figure out the chords and listening to that particular song over and over again on repeat mode on my Mp3 player... and on my pc... do project also listen to that song haha.... juz when i'm all prepared for that song.. planned the sequence and everything... then it snapped before i played it... such a disappointment... :-(... Grrrrrrrrr......Felt my efforts going down the drain le.... no chance to showcase what i have prepared to show my sincerity... :-(
Why must the strings snapped at this time.... of all times??? Why why why???
I hope the fan was useful... i find it most suitable for someone who perspire easily :-p..happy to know that this effort is appreciated though... :-p
Finally going K box this afternoon haha..looking forward to singing this afternoon yeah! :-p
It's really been ages since i visited K box......
Recently... juz realised juz love a song by Wu Ke Qun.....from his previous album...
"大女人".... love it as much as "nan yong" and "ming tian guo hou" haha... will figure out the chords soon...
*幸福。。它真的不容易。。。*
*就这样 手牵手。。。是最 简单的梦*
*只要有 你陪我。。静静的就足 够*
*空气里躲着什么， 有点快乐的 心 动。:-p*
*只要能在 一起。。静静 的就已足够。。对吗？*
Happy Birthday to you, Mommy.... :-p
12/12/06
Tuesday
2.50am
*It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. *
1:51:00 AM
Monday, December 11, 2006
Okie... finally the test is over.. *phew* been fretting over it quite badly coz i'm usually quite lost during the previous lectures and tutorials.... have a headache now... but still gotta rush the report so as to send to my group mate for compilation asap... as the deadline is this Friday...
Projects..are nothing but torture.... it seems never ending... project after project.. after u finish this u have that to discuss... after discussing that... u have this to complete and submit...
wah... sighz.. shoot me... i need to sleep... i need a break...
But lucky for me i thought the test was ok... although i got a few unsure answers.. but it wasnt as bad as i thought it wld be... well no matter what grade i get at least i'm very sure of one thing.... I tried my best le... self consoling myself again ? haha maybe.....?
I have been feeling quite insecure and i also tend to get easily agitated these days...got agitated on the slightest things...maybe it's the projects ? the tests ?.. which had really taken the toil out of me... though i noe it's not really a good excuse... but still i cant seem to help it..... Hence ...i took it out on someone.. lost my temper which i shouldn't... i admit i sort of over reacted on the first incident... oh no.. what's wrong with me? :-( But i really didnt meant it....no ill intentions for sure...
*hope to seek more of ur understanding.... guess i worry too much about ur disappearance that's why......*
*也许，我有时太傻，太呆， 脾 气又不太好。。你知道甜言密语不是我的 风格。。但
请相信，真心从来不会少一分。。*
*只要有 你陪我，静静的 就足 够， 就这样 静静的手牵手，是最 简单的梦。。*
*永远要记得那天彼此许下的承诺， 瞬 间点亮的火花，是 我 们的拥有。*
*我可以陪 你去看星星， 不用再多 说明。。我就要和 你在一起。。*
*It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. .*
4.5opm
Monday
11/12/06
4:10:00 PM
Friday, December 08, 2006
I was suppose to be doing report... and studying but i decided to take a short break by writing here hehe... i finally get to sleep juz a little bit more last night as compared to the previous nights.... due to the 2 presentations in a row... i really didnt get much sleep ... i cldn't sleep well...
I'm not a natural speaker... i speak to0 soft therefore unable to draw the attention of the crowd when i present, and when i get all nervous i stammer and suffer from verbal difficulty... the words juz dun seem to come out naturally i wonder why...
whereas for some people they can speak without using Q cards but for me i wld probably stand there like the biggest idiot speechless without Q cards... ok maybe i will juz read the points directly from the ppt slides that's about as far as i can go....
Ask me to speak in front of a crowd.. if given a choice give me a guitar i rather sing and play in front of a crowd... although it's equally nervous... but i perfer the second challenge.....
at least there's music from the guitar to calm me down.... unlike during a speech everyone is silent .... u are the only one talking ... and everyone is staring at u... regardless of whether they are listening or not..... I find it to be really scary....
And because we were the last group to present... our Q and A session lasted for an approx of 20 minutes which is real long as compared to the previous groups... many qns were shooted by the various grps with the purpose of gaining points for their own respective grps.... juz coz their presentaion is over... they sort of "sabotage" us for their personal gains....:-(....
Some claimed that they were juz curious... huh? if they really are so "curious" and have so many doubts pertaining to our presentation they can jolly well ask us after the Q and A session..... or i can give them our whole report to read... 100 over pages... aiyah.. wan points say wan points... give me lame excuses :-( but anyway dun blame them also... it's human nature....juz complaining tt's all
Being the last grps indeed sucks... we were the last grp for both presentations.... but i'm glad we kept within the time frame of 20 minutes for our presentation excluding Q and A ....
Nothing unusual happening to me these days... ran into someone... got quite a bit of mixed feelings... but after that everything went back to normal...
Moving on...
Ok ..i was happy to noe that someone read my post.. got what i needed although it's not new but it's the thought and gesture that counts and matters....:-p thanks..I was indeed pleasantly surprised... coz i didnt really expect it....
As i did said this before:
*It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. .*
rem?
Extra thoughts......
*I always anticipate sweet surprises.... i love positive surprises....It really makes me smile when someone really walks the extra mile. . try so hard to get or do something that I always wanted...:-p.. looking forward to more sweet surprises... :-p**
*Gestures and action still matters the most... words are like decorations to a cake... the cake is still edible with or without the decorations... words merely serve to beautify the action.... However, Using excessive words without any actions or gestures ... the words will then be meaningless after some time...**
*Repetitive cycles sickens me... However..i'm a changed person i no longer take this to heart anymore...**
*I got a clear mind... I'm not a puppet... I'm not a toy....or do i look like one? maybe..? **
**Actual concern is way way better than virtual concern... i'm sure everyone knows that**
*我最想要的 东西，只握在 喜 欢的人手上。。。*
*在世界 毁灭前。。只愿 你的记忆里。。有我的 拥抱。。**
*我可以陪 你一起去看星星，不用再 多 说明。。我就要和 你在一起。。*
08-12-06
Friday
1.30pm
12:21:00 PM
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Okie... after so many sleepless nights ... i'm now left with one more night to go... before i can at least have a short short break tomorrow after presentation... after which on Friday i gotta rush on my report and prepare for my up-coming test on Monday :-(... Sighz... when will all this be over? so sick of having to think of all these projects and tests everyday... Year 2 Semester 2 is indeed a killer year.... everything is so tight... the schedule and deadlines is demanding.....:-(
I never hated projects tt much until this semester.... it's a total disaster... i didnt get good grade for one of the projects... and juz got a lousy but passable grade for my test.... wah... i really hope i can pull thru this year... I still gotta prepare my presentation script for tomorrow's presentation ....
Furthermore, it's been told that the tutor who's grading us is known for shooting many questions to students at the end of the presentation.... i'm pretty worried and am afraid that my group and i may not be able to ans her qns the way she wanted us to ... :-( wish us all the best for tomorrow's presentation as today's presentation is quite a flop.. :-(
I dunno but i did tried my best... sometimes feel so lousy n useless when i see my own grades...sighz..... it's probably natural for one to feel this way in my state.... oh gosh if only i am a smarter person ....then all these would have been a whizz for me.....too bad i'm not ...
Sickening Projects aside...wld also lik to pen down some extra thoughts....
Perhaps i'm juz a puppet to certain people.. ..perhaps to certain people....i'm juz someone whom they can easily manipulate...someone who allows them to come and go as they please...
I'm someone who allows them to appear as they wish ... disappear at anytime.....and then reappear again with a whole load of excuses...
haha such a strange world ....... strange situation...... or perhaps i'm the strange one over here....
Nah i dun care....i'm already crapping i dunno what i'm toking about now.....ignore me
**let me guess ....will u be reading this post?... or have u been reading every post without fail?....juz a guess... maybe not maybe yes.... I wish for it to be a yes though....**
*It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. ..*
*I need some sleep... my eyelids need to be close for a longer time.....can i ? **
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*Feeling blue and lousy at times... but perhaps i'm only human.... i do feel insecure at times..I constantly need ur support... **
06-12-06
8.15pm
Thursday
May everything go smoothly tomorrow ...
To whoever who's reading this post...
wish me luck.. thanks..:-p
7:30:00 PM
Monday, December 04, 2006
I should be doing my slides.. preparing for my presentation for Wednesday and Thursday... but look what i'm doing now... sitting here.. writing this hehe... i juz feel like dozing off whilst doing the slides... :-(...gonna summarise what happened today
Today is the most bo liao day at Sentosa Cove my first day of deployment...everything was in a mess no one was prepared for our arrival... lunch wasnt available on that deserted part of the island... in the end we only ate at 3pm.. by that time.. the appetite is already spoilt... sighz.. I'm like undergoing a "fasting" period... what can u do on a remote island.. it really seems like it... but a beautiful one though...
the environment there is fantastic.. now i noe why the houses there were worth 3.8 million already haha... we went to see the display for the houses... wow!!!. Awesome... a complete paradise .... it juz looks like a dream house... the balcony the open concept... the view facing the sea..... it's juz perfect... except for the price though haha.. totally only affordable by pple who are filthy rich... then they can purchase a ship there :-p wow... dream come true.... wa cant imagine myself being someone who is filthy rich for one day man...
so i would conclude it as a beautiful yet remote part of Sentosa.... if my dad wans to fetch me i think it will take him ages to locate my position .... it's completely out of the place..... we need to call a cab to get out..... the moment we sit in the cab it's already 10 plus bucks le... 6 bucks for calling cab... 2 bucks for peak hour charge and another 2.50 basic.... wow... ex man...
and the driver cant really drive ... jerked so much got a headache when i got off the cab.. :-(
However, having had service lessons these weeks.... i kinda prefer service than culinary... haha... maybe i'm really not a kitchen person i dunno or is it because of the pple around me that influenced my preference.... ? but i may change again.... hehe... it's hard to say coz i havent complete my service course yet ...
It's an inconvient place i muz agree... but the experience was quite enriching.... not the making coffee part of course haha... tt's boring... to me... coffee is a deceiving beverage coz it doesnt taste as good as it smells....... it's a love-hate beverage... u either love it to the extent of addiction like my mother... or juz dislike it... like me... it's two extremes.....People who dun really like coffee will prefer the taste of tea.... like the dog cat relationship.... people who love dogs usually dun really like cats.... of course this is juz one of my general deduction there are definitely special cases...
everyone is different...
*Hoping to face everyday with a positive attitude towards life**
*Hope to pass my projects.. getting a better grade than the previous grade we got the other time**
*I dunno if u have been reading these days... hope u are though.. but even if u r not it's ok... **
*I must learn to accept that different people... lead different lifestyles hence... got different set of thinking, values and beliefs... i cannot expect everyone to think the same way as i do..... **
*It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs...*
*Certain things i find important.. others might not think the same way as i do.... it's a way of life...**
*Still saving up to get new ear phones..... but before that gotta buy transport concession first...**
okie... gtg
Monday
11.00pm
04-12-06
11:00:00 PM
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Wa... the projects are indeed giving me not only mental stress but also physical stress... it's draining my energy away day by day... i didnt expect this semester's work demand to be so high... everyday there's bound to be something to be completed so as to meet the sickening deadlines....:-(
Juz when u are looking foward to the mid-sem break... it turn out that there is another list of work and assignments to be done during that period too... oh gosh... juz shoot me...
I worked from 11 plus all the way till 5 plus on the fm project.... didnt expect it to take so long... been sitting in front of the pc for the past 6 hours or more..... :-( sad life
The stress of the projects together with the stress of my bank account too..... the stress increases with every cent withdrawn from the atm machine..... coz i've stopped work for quite some time and nothing is going into the account... only one way... going out..... on the other hand, i'm definitely not capable of continue working with all the projects demand... tt's the worse part...
suddenly missed those times in TP when i was in year one.... the project load wasnt so scary....
and the deadlines dun seem to be so close... the schedule of course less packed...
However, in life .. difficulties get more and more challenging as we grow older... that's natural and it happens to everyone... but perhaps for rich people they dun have to worry about their bank account... so it's one less stressful item to stress about... i gotta think for so long juz to get a new pair of ear phones... really is tong ren bu tong ming....
Oh juz feel like going on a holiday... go abroad... to escape from all these rubblish temporarily...
it's been a long long time since i went on a holiday.... not enough $$$ ..... havent found company who also wan to go on a holiday.... but anyway a bit hard la.... so many things to do sighz...:-(
I juz found out that even if a person doesnt eventually accomplish the things u wish the person wld accomplish ....as long as actions are taken by the person to show maximum effort in trying to accomplish the thing.... it's already enough to make me happy... but that's only if real actions are taken by the person to show that he care enough to try so hard to achieve that something.....
Sitting there giving excuses .... instead of finding solutions definitely shows that a person doesnt really care enough to take any actions to achieve that something to make another happy...
:-(
But then everyone got their own set of beliefs and values not everyone think the same way as i do... the definition of maximum effort also depends on individuals.. can't blame anyone :-(
Issues:
*Forcing someone to do something they dun feel the same way on... does not bring geunine happiness to me*
*I need a break.. away from all these rubbish.... i need a holiday... who doesn't?*
*It's touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say anything or do anything...and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs....*
*still the same old saying as always...
Though words does makes a difference to make a person happy....
Action still speaks louder than words.... **
Saturday
6.05pm
02-12-06
5:18:00 PM
