Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Yet another day has passed me by.......
I wish for u to let me feel that u need me all the time... tt's all... actually i juz wanna constantly assure my position in ur heart.....guess that's not too much to ask..
the things u didnt like me to do... i tried my best not to do it... hoping that u can also try to understand :-p
*等待是漫长的。。除了等待还是等待。。你不想我去的地方。。我连想去的念头也不
敢有。。只因不想你不开心。。。我只有坐在家里。。等待 你联络我。。等了又
等。。。手机仍然没动静。。我叹完气后。。告诉自己你一定很忙。。 然后继续
等。。等着。。等着。。开始胡思乱想。。。然后又等。。。等待 时间到了就准备去 找你。。等待好累。。
我想我需要 你的程度比你需要我还多。。
*粗心大意的 你。。。又不知不 觉得再一次忘了我的需要。。我的存在。。。*
我总是害怕你不开心。。难道你都不担心我不 开心吗？
你能不能不要忽 视我
Sometimes wondered if u have ever put urself in my position to think....
6:54:00 PM
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
生命的无常。。。
Life's fragile... unpredictable... nobody knows what will happen in the next minute..... therefore people should cherish what they have... cherish the pple around them constantly so as to avoid any regrets... coz no one knows what will happen ....
okie... have been busy lately.... as usual with the same things.... sighz.... I got 3 tests next week... Monday.. Service Proficiency test.... Tuesday the sucky opera test....totally lost during the lesson was basically dreaming and doing other stuffs thruout haha... and friday got Jap role play... :-(... wish me all the best... so many lines to memorise... and the script is not finalised ... shucks!
I finally know what's the main reason for me feeling so Exceptionally down for the past few days... it muz be Pms...it always makes me think too much ...during that period i only see the darkest side of everything around me... guess what i needed during that period is Extra assurances, attention and support from people who are important to me esp u.
I was happy that u have finally changed job... ur finally free from that sucky job :-p congrats!.. glad to see that u dun look so tired as compared to the previous job.... :-p at least ur able to call me and meet me more often :-p
Communication is the key... i shouldnt be too influenced by what others say .... tt's not being fair to u...and it also made matters worse.... as i could only guess and guess ....but eventually i finally told u how i felt... what a relief... it's tough keeping everything inside....... coz during that time i really thought u had no time to listen.... so i did not bother to say anything... which isnt good....u dun look happy either when i hide things from u.... so decided to be more open with u in future.... ok? Hiding things from u will only lead to more misunderstandings......and besides during that few days i was too needy..in need of someone's support ... n u had no time...so i was not thinking properly...therefore certain things happened without ur knowledge.... but it really isn't what u thought it was.... hope u really did believed what i said that day.... i meant what i said...
Gives me energy ... thanks:-p finished it long ago though
Constantly Needs more of ur attention, support n concern :-p pls.....
你还没有回答我之前的 问题。。。
只要有 你陪我静静的就足够。。。只要我们手牵手，你塔着我的肩。。我靠着你的背...我不感到寂寞。。看看白云和蓝天。。。就足够....我希望你关心多一点。。马虎少一点。。爱心多一点。。忘记少一点。。包容多一点。。体谅多一点。。细心多一点。。耐心多一点。。可以吗？我只要一直活在有 你的幸福中只要有 你就好。。我不要做 谁的天下第一， 我只要做 你心里永 远的唯一。。
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. *It's been 4 months already... Looking forward to Many Many Many More Never Ending months ahead of us k? *:-pCheers!
5:25:00 PM
Saturday, January 27, 2007
难过
爱哭的眼睛。。终于流眼泪了。。
Initially, I was so happy when u said u were willing to wait until my performance finish ... but halfway through u said u worry about the midnight charge and u were tired too... u ask me whether i still wanted to perform....from the way u ask me i knew u wanted me to leave already.... do u think i still have the heart to tell u how much i wanted to perform...no i dun... so i kept the two songs "ju hua tai" and "zhui jing" that i intended to perform back into my bag... i didnt even put it in the file i juz shoved it in my bag folded...juz in case u happened to change ur mind bout leaving.... but u didnt... so
eventually we left.... was sad not only coz of the performing part... but the fact that u never really thought of how i felt...well u were too tired as u have been for the past weeks to even bother... and as for me ... i couldnt blame u ... sighz... so i can only be unhappy.... but i couldnt show it...u gave me hope.. then u take it away from me halfway thru.. the feeling's not good... well performing is something i look forward to everytime.. if from the start there were no chances ... i wouldnt mind not performing.. but if a chance was given to me .. and i gave it up i will feel a bit upset coz it's not everyday that i can perform... busy with projects and tests everyday... performance makes me happy... anyway knew u were tired.... i shouldnt make u stay coz of me ...
not blaming anyone for my moods.... it was juz my problem no one else is at fault...
i know u are not feeling well... I needed ur company... but as ur tired i told u to go back and have a rest... I didnt ask u to stay even though i very much wanted u to stay for my sake... sighz...after all this.. u still doubt the level of concern i have on u ... sighz... i really am upset when u ask me that... but decided i let u sleep... i mentioned i cant sleep.. but again u were too tired to notice my unhappiness .... :-(
i cant sleep... speechless... sleepless...
i keep telling myself that it's over it's over stop brooding over it... it wont change the situation what's done cannot be undone but i'm still feeling upset.. i prob need some time to get over this...
pple might think it's actually nothing ... but guess i think differently??... i dunno i dun care.... i cant think properly at the moment... however felt a bit better after toking to someone... i juz need to complain .... everyone 's asleep... inlcuding u..but i cant sleep u were too tired to bother...i dun blame u juz a bit sad that u couldnt be dere when i needed u... at least i got a listening ear at this point in time..only need it now..... or i would have gone crazy....for thinking too much ..anyway was surprised u were not asleep yet... thks anyway
Night...
u will be working again today... sighz... but instead of staying at home i have decided to go out to get some fresh air..
for these days, it's either that i dun see u at all... or when i see u ... u looked like ur going to faint anytime... ... i was wondering if it will be better if i dun meet u at all.... then at least u cld use the time to rest...
或许，这就叫做笑中含着泪水吧。。没人能体会我
你还关心我吗？
我也只能期待下一次的表演机 会了。。。
*我好没用，就只会流眼泪。。什么也不会。。*
*我尽量把不开心，失落感都放在心里。。尽量不让你看见。。因为知道你累。。*
*做了这些，你仍然怀疑我对你的关心。。我好 难过。。*
*你不会知道我有多期待每个星期的这一天。。因为知道只有今天能见你久一点。。但最后知道你好累。。无论自己多不想你走。。但还是得让你走。。突然 觉得好寂寞。。是夜 晚太沉静了吗？*
我需要你的时候， 又不能要求 你在我身边。。。这种感觉你懂吗？
我发现最近的我。。。好象和寂寞 结为了好朋友。。。
以前的你，一定会安慰我直到我开心为止。。。 现在的你， 已经没精力那样做了。。。不能怪 你。。也只能 难过。。不 开心而已。。
想想差别。。眼 泪也不小心的在眼角里打 滚
难道“累”是你忽略我的感受的最好理由 吗？
我都不能肯定你是否是为见我而开心。。还是因为工作最后一天而开心。。
*算了，相信 过一阵子就会没事了。。叹气*
我只想发泄。。
signing off...
寂寞陪我也已 经有好一段日子了。。。就 让寂寞再陪我 独过今夜吧。。。
习惯就好。。没什么。
相信如果是以前的你。。你一定会为我而留下。。。现在不同了。。你工作后好多改变都在等我去适应。。去习惯。。只因我必须。。体谅你的累。。
4.00am
Saturday
27-01-07
今天我好 难过。。很抱歉开心不起来
好想念 你过去安慰我。。哄我的模 样。。现在你连看我的眼神都 没
精神。。更不用 说安慰我。。。
到头来。。反过来是我必 须不断安慰你。。感觉好无奈。。寂寞。。
更难过的是你好象也累得都 没有察觉到我的难过。。我的不快 乐。。
我还能找回 从前那敏感，体 贴的你吗？
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
Credits:
Pictures downloaded from MSN Live images search engine
1:24:00 AM
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Oh gosh.. i think i am going to do badly for my mice test today... shucks... should be studying yesterday night but was chatting over the phone haha... well should have prepared during the weekend but i procrastinate as usual.... sighz..... :-( didnt sleep well last night too... havent been sleeping well these days too.... tomorrow i got another test... sighz...hoping i can pass....
It's been days since i had any long decent chat with u over the phone.... it's been days since i had long decent sleep too... however i was quite glad that at least you are beginning to put in the effort to contact me whenever possible ... even if u have to do it secretly :-p appreciate that.... at least through this action i know that at least u cared about my presence .....small action like these do matter.... I guess i couldn't really ask for more attention than this already ... when u are already so tired...
I'm already getting the hang of it... at least with ur efforts in contacting me i do not feel as lonely as before... at least this action makes me feel that my presence means something to u ...hoping this can continue... :-p
想念你的拥抱
期待你的拥抱....
我对你这远距离的牵挂几时结束？。。:-(
我也只能数着思念的时差。。天天期待着你的回应.....:-(
Moving on to other issues in my life...... Some Humans get confused every now and then... some don't seem to be sure of what they wan in their life... some are not sure of who they wanna be with....some didn't know how to cherish a person important in their life...when they finally knew the importance of the person... perhaps it may be too late? ... regrets? maybe? still in touch after all that's happened? ya.. maybe i really dun see the point in bearing grudges anymore...this new friendship has enabled me to learn more about certain things too...the past is juz something for me to learn from.... sometimes u made me feel that u still had something special for me ....sometimes u dun... i'm thinking too much....anyway .....it's up to u whether u treat me as ur past or not...I have no control over that.......The present is a gift... and treasuring it is more important...
你背我走到最后。。。
可以吗？:-p
请你尽快回答我的 问题。。
25/01/07
Thursday
10.00pm
*feel like sleeping...........still gotta study :-(*
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
8:33:00 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Tolerance is tough.. yet when it's being practised it can be very beautiful.... a beautiful action i would say..... I'm still in the process of learning the art of practising tolerance... any classes i cld sign up to learn? hehe guess no... i guess i shall accumulate it through my life experiences...Being tolerant to my current circumstances... being tolerant to u......trying so hard to be ignorant about everyone's negative points ... when i'm able to oversee these flaws ... that's when i can be more accomodating...also to be able to focus on those positive points on others so as to be a happier person.... :-p
Easier said than done.....
still in the process of learning.......... i think as i grow older my tolerance level will be higher?? hopefully?? and dependency level on someone lower? or to control it to the correct level... tt will be perfect....
Exams are juz one month away.... cant wait for all this crap to end soon..... then i can spend more time doing the things i like... as well as to resume my work ...to earn more money....
i'm seriously broke.. :-( maybe going to rob a bank soon.. haha...not funny....Nah!
I wanted to get myself earphones... coz the one someone gave me juz spoilt :-(.... sob sob... i'm currently got no choice but to use the original one that is quite painful after using it for a while....
:-( but no choice... gotta bear with those earphones till April? when i get my pay ...after working during March...? seems like the only way out.... can consider stealing again .......not funny again...
Nah!
I really hate to see u looking so tired... so out of place.....i'm afraid if this continues this might put a strain on ur body condition... hoping that it ends soon.... I dun mind switching roles with u sometimes... then at least i dun have to see u looking so tired.... i rather be the exhausted and tired one.....
More often than not.. the one who's waiting suffers more..... for example... u meet a friend at 2...she came at 5... u will be more upset than her... coz in a way she sort of let u down.. wasted ur time.... as for ur friend she will atmost feel sorry .. apologise.. but the waiting time itself already sucks... I dun like the feeling of waiting ... I juz hate it...whether it's waiting for a call.. waiting for a reply.... waiting for someone's arrival... waiting for anything... it's not that i'm not willing to wait.. i juz dun like that feeling...... tt's all.... of course a few minutes wait is nothing... i'm toking about long long waiting time....
*希望你真的喜欢我给你的意外惊喜。。*
*能够让你开心。。就足够。。*
*如果我昨晚所付出的时间，精神和金钱能够换回你一个发自内心的微笑。。那一切都值得。。*
*真的好讨厌看见你那两眼无神。。失魂落魄的憔悴模 样。。每天猜测。。每天猜
想。。不断盼 望，你这份夺命的工作早日结束。。。好让我能找回从前那精力充
沛。。天天有 说有笑。。开朗
活泼的你。。*
*那能不能告诉我这还要延续到什么时候？。。现在的你好憔悴。。令我好 担
忧。。。好害怕 你 身体撑不住。。**
那么聚少离多的日子又还要忍耐到什 么时候？
我是否又能不能够做到我可以完全不再意。。完全包容的程度 呢？
如果能？ 那能 维持多久 呢？
能不能也告诉我， 我几时才能再看见从前的你？
我好怀念从前那精力充沛。。天天有 说有笑。。开朗活泼的你。。。快点回来好吗？
Please.....
求你。。
可以吗？
真的不想看到 你那么累。。
23-01-07
7.06pm
Tuesday
Sweet Picture of care, concern and affection
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs. (even if ur of different species :-p)
6:15:00 PM
Sunday, January 21, 2007
今天又再次 发觉， 原来我没有想象中独立，坚强。。。
今天好难过。。这种心情要延 续多久呢。。好 无奈。。好 难过。。情 绪好低落。。觉得好没用。。好 没用。。就只 会不开心。。却又不懂得如何让你更开心。。好可笑。。
我只能一直等待，有时宁愿我们对换角色。。那也许我没那么不好受
如果，是这样。。 我宁可累到要死的人是我。。那至少答不答 复的选择权在我手
上。。我无须等待。。 我真的宁可。。那累到要死。。每天从早做到晚的人是我。
。那么你的关心就会多一些了。。。那我累得也好 开心。。。 总比现在好吧。。我
有 着无奈。。被忽略的感 觉。。
难受的是，当关心在不知觉的情况下变少。。我无权不开心。。更不能怪 你。。如
果怪。。又似乎都是我不 对。。因为充 份理由的存在。。 我只能一直包容。。
包容又不简单。。有 时好无助。。好孤 独。。就这样陷在左右为难的边缘。。实在
不好受。。
好几次，发了无数简讯。。你无法答复。。我仿佛寄了好多 没地址的简讯。。现在也
终于决定让手机休息一下下。。我又不能怪你。。还得装得好开心。。拼命传达鼓励
的话。。想让你开心一些。。仍 旧没回应。。 我知道这都不是你的错。。但一直等
待。。。也不好受。。那我 不 开心，无助的时候要找谁来安慰呢？
别人听了。。肯 定觉得是我不对。。我不该无理取闹。。我现在也不需要任何人来
说。。是谁对谁错。。我只需要一位 听 众。。尽管是我的过度反应。。又怎么样。
我毕竟是人。。有血有肉。。也有情 绪嘛。。我也只是在发泄让自己好过一些
罢 了。。有 错吗？
算了。。就当是我不对好了。。我也是只想 发泄。。
我也不知道我为何这样是过分依赖吗？无所谓。。发泄完后。。。或 许会比较好过
些。。
我终于体会到好几年前。。另一个人的无助感觉。。 从前的我也不曾给过他一丝的安
慰。。现在发生在我身上。。。是 报应吧。。。以前的我也曾 经一度觉得他无理
取闹。。 不断提醒他我那充分理由的存在。。现在清楚知道他当时的感受。。觉得当
时好不应该。。那时候的他应该和我现在一样无奈，无助。。需要别人的陪伴吧。。
可惜当时的我不知道。。说抱歉也太 迟了。。都已 过去好久了。。 报应也已经降临
在我身上。。
左右为难。。实在不好受。。。这样不对。。那样又不对。。。叹气。。。这种感觉
可以用无奈来形容。。我好 无奈。。
我知道你好累。。但能不能尽量。。尽量不要忽视我的存在。。你懂等待的感觉吗？
我也不见得睡得好。。。
如果。。表现得过度不开心又好象是我不够体贴。。但拼命掩饰也好难过。。不知如
何是好。。你教教我好吗？
我拼命想找回你那熟悉的温柔。。唯有它能让我不再难过。。有时我好羡慕旁人。。至少他们无
需担心距离。。。
我真的愿意对换角色, 我这样也不见得好过到哪里去。。
那请问这段聚少离多的日子 还要多久？ 而我又能支 撑到什么时候呢？
10:47:00 AM
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Okie...not going out after all... my sister is coming over to my place... ao my date with my cousin has been postponed to tomorrow.... haha....my sis is right, our whole family lacks communication ...juz because i'm at home in the morning.. my mom assumes i will be at home the whole of today....
Your tiredness had indeed blurred ur mind a bit more... it's caused u to forget again.... Oh no!.... however... Looking forward to see positive changes the next time round :-p.... as long as there was effort in remembering.. it's already good enough...
To Remember the small things is not easy... that's why it makes it more touching when someone did remember the small small things...
Perhaps... small small things is not impt to others... but to me... it really has important significance... A small small gesture.. a small small action speaks a thousand words on how much u care .....
It shows how much a person care.. to even bother to remember such a small thing....in which others might forget... that's when remembering it becomes special... it's special coz others might forget... but u remembered....
Used to love weekends a lot... but now i prefer friday nights.. the reason is obvious...
i guess i'm juz not independent enough to cope with a relationship with minimum contact.... still in the process of learning...willing to learn ... undertsanding new things everyday ....
*I hope u get away from this sucking job soon.... it's indeed a killer job... you r suffering and so am i..May u find another job that's more normal than this... **
no matter wat .. u have my support! :-p
*If only time with u could be longer... **
*Looking forward to more efforts in remembering the small small things... small small things do matter...*
*期待你的记忆力的改善。。。期待你能为我多记得更多小小的细节。。只要用心就够。。*
不要再粗心大意了好 吗？
If u feel it within ur heart... and u will understand me...
*Despite being very tired, i do appreciate that u made the effort to read every one of my posts without fail....:-p thks a lot..:-p**
wishing we could be like this for always ...
*我们春天散步，夏天看海。。秋天数落叶。。
一直没有烦恼, 一直没有争吵 .... 让每天象糖一样甜。。冬天下雪。。你是绵被，温暖我的夜..一直在我身边, 一直爱到永远...我就负责靠着你的肩...
傻傻两个人....许过一个愿当时星星眨着眼看起 来并不远
但愿你每天幸福又安全两只恋人手牵手
谁也不用再跑给谁去追
就这样继续依赖着你熟悉的 温柔一直到最后。。。*
幸福，它真的不容易。。
思念早已经开始。。
Saturday
20-01-07
4.00pm
2:53:00 PM
Friday, January 19, 2007
Yet another long, hard day had passed me by... slept at 3 plus yesterday night(wednesday).... woke up at 745am...went to school early to hand in project..... after which had a test at 4... guess someone's too tired to ask me how's the test... slight disappointment....anyway....after the test .. there's another project discussion ... we discussed all the way till 5 plus ? cant really rem what time we left school... it was still raining ...
After which.. i came home.. decided to rush my projects tonight.... feeling sleepy i forced myself to stay awake the whole time... did what i should do.... e-mailed my work... and i'm writing this now... actually i can do it during the weekends.. but am afraid i might have to work.. and i cant do my projects on friday nights as i'm usually not at home.....tt's why gotta rush...
well.. tt's wat happened today... boring lifestyle... i would say... projects projects tests tests... sighz... Year 2 indeed sucks... tired as can be.. i want to write something down here.... somehow tonight... im on half-sleeping mode at the moment... tmr(friday) i still gotta wake up bright and early at 7.45 am for project group discussion.... sighz...i actually longed for a morning call tmr.. but i know ur tired...so i shouldnt bother u...actually i will feel happy even if u asked....i will not let u do it anyway, coz i noe ur tired..
even mere asking whether i need it... is a form of concern... and is enough to make me feel happy.... it's the thought that counts....
只要你问。。、心意就存在。。而 这样就够了你懂吗？
i hate a word... a 7 lettered word..... guess??
P-R-O-J-E-C-T
alright guess i shld catch some sleep now.. going to fall sick again if i continue being an owl everynight... and a cock in the mornings... giving everyone a morning call.. or morning cry? haha...not funny...
*我真的真的不是想听 你说我在为自己找借口， 所以不改掉 坏 习惯。。我只是想听你说。。无论我有没有改。。只要用心就 够。。无论我有没有改。。你仍然会在我身边守护着我。。不离不弃的。。一直站在我 身边。。**
*我不想听的 话。。往往 难以忘记。。它就像个烦人的苍蝇。。怎么赶。。也赶不走。。我也多 么想把它赶走。。。忘掉所有我不想听的 话。。但是不容易**
*好累。。真的好累。。。每天为功课忙。。为功课烦。。真是好累。。觉得生活好无情趣。。**
*你不会知道我多么想跟你借多一些些的安慰。。多一些些的 关怀。。。多一些些的关心。。但我知道 你最近好累。。我不想加重 你的负担。。所以难过时, 也宁可保持沉默。。装得若无其事。。
就算不想又能如何？
就因为不想你不开心。。**
是我的过度依赖。。还是过度贪心？。。我不懂。但真的好想。。好想。。。*
仍在等待着晴天的 来临。。
Thursday
1.00am
18/01/07
*但愿你的每一天都充满欢笑。。快乐又安全。。就足够。。*
12:24:00 AM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Independence is what every individual has to learn.... learning to be able to stand up straight when the going gets tough...learning to reduce over-dependence on others... learning to cope with stress....
For me, i dun really like to be independent unless i'm forced to ... depending on the situation... but if given a choice i rather be dependent on someone all the time.. ...to have someone to lean on whenever i needed help, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on.... feeling's great... but at times i do have to learn to be independent when for certain reasons the person cant be there.... that is when learning to reduce over dependence on someone comes into picture... alright in the end i still have to learn to be independent .... when the situation calls for it.....
Ever since, i was very young... i depend a lot on my parents... i enjoyed it.... i only learn to be less dependent on them as i gradually grew older... guess it's natural.... hehe...
I have always been perceived as someone who is strong and tough ... both on the inside and outside... but in fact i dun really live up to that.... maybe strong on the outside is true.... on the inside? i dun think so... but for me it seems natural for me to put on a strong front in front of others... firstly.. dun wan to let my mood affect the rest... secondly... i juz dun see the need to appear so weak when it doesnt help to solve the problem at all....
However... always putting up the "strong " front can be tiring at times... when it does... some traces of unhappiness will tend to show... tt's when my acting fails...
guess i'm actually not as strong as i seemed to be..
Actually wat i meant juz now ..... was not exactly what u thought it was.. i'm willing to change.. however i juz needed more time.....i knew it's a flaw of mine... and i'm willing to change....
*我想听的不是听你说我为自己找借口。。。 我想听你说的是无论我有没有改。。只要我 尽力就足够。。。想听 你说, 无论我有 没有改。。。你依然会在我身 边支持着我。。**
你懂吗？
sighz....
Looks like it's going to rain soon... been so hot the whole day...
*Hope u get an easier job soon.... hate to see u looking so tired each time we meet.... *
*但愿我们一直没有烦恼，一直没有争吵。。让每天每夜象糖一样甜。。。
一直在我身边， 一直到永远。。。 *
*这些日子以来也已经习惯依赖着你熟悉的温柔。。我是不是应该独立多一些。。依赖少一些呢？
*傻傻的许下一个愿，但愿你的每一天幸福， 快乐 又安全。。*
只要有你就足够...
再坚强的人。。也会有软弱的一面
7.30pm
17-01-07
Wednesday
Wish me luck for FM quiz tomorrow... :-p haha
thanks!
7:13:00 PM
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Haiz... have diarrhoea today .. wonder why.. sighz....totally stucked with the sucking FM project.. Fm really sucks... the group project for this subject sucks.. same goes for the individual project... :-( what the hell is the workflow layout? damn....furthermore there's a test for FM too on thurday same day as submission... Friday gotta hand out Jap script.... it seems to me ... there are lik so many things to complete weekly ... when will this come to an end....sighz....:-(
tt's all for today...
*Constantly needs ur support.... ur support it's all that matters the most....*
*喜欢在记忆里停留, 习惯搜寻你的, 只要有 你就足够..*
*我想要一直不 断的依赖着你熟悉的温柔*
*想一直没有烦恼， 一直没有挣吵，让每天象糖一 样甜。。静静的独过每一天。。每一夜。。只要能 够在你身边就足够。。*
我终于明白, 你就 是我幸福的执著...
再多的语言, 也很难去表达....这一份承诺
这一次...
我不会放手....
你 呢？
7.11pm
Sunday
14/01/07
6:32:00 PM
Saturday, January 13, 2007
oh no still troubled with my project stuff... the FM project.. oh my gosh... !!! I juz wanna throw everything away... and dun think about all these rubbish for a while....
Went to Angeline's house today... had fun haha.... we were suppose to do project.. but in the end.. haha... :-p we were busy toking and singing... only wrote like 2 paragraphs only.... tonight really have to do le... not much time left as next week is quite packed.... and tight.... :-( having tests weekly.... both online and offline...sighz...
I went to city hall yesterday bought a guitar bag.. and a guitar strap.. :-p finally bought it... was tired but didnt felt i wasted any of my time.....didnt experience anything extremely special... juz another ordinary day out.... enjoyed myself most of the time...juz being myself is already a form of enjoyment.... :-p however still secretly longed to hear more sugary .. sweeter words... okie...let's put it this way... 2 sentences may mean the same thing... but by switching the words in a sentence, it can make it sound nicer and sweeter .. although the 2 sentences meant the same thing...changing the words a little can make it sound a lot nicer... being tactful is a form of art too...
I only slept like for 5 hours last night.. so was totally half on sleep mode the whole of today.... furthermore the weather today juz makes me wanna juz doze off....into dreamland........
even like now....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*thanks a lot for the gift .. my dearest friends.... Joch, Angeline(Mary) and Linda... deeply appreciated... :-p**
*我希望你现在能更体会我想要的是什么。。**
*浪漫不一定很贵。。一句简单的话，一个简单动作 ，只要心意存在。。。对我来说就是一种浪漫。。。一种简单，纯朴的浪漫。。。 这样就够了。。真的。。*
*你的每一句话，我会用心用意，在意的听，每一个动作，表情我也 会牢牢记住 。。然后将点点滴滴都存放在心里。。。永 远也不让任何一个人带走。。因 为这一切对我来说是如此的重要。。*
*只希望我们能这样开开心心的度过每一天，每一夜。。每一分，每一秒。。。一直到最后**
*梦希望没有尽头，我们走到这就好。。因为真的不想太快走完这幸福。。*
反真不会松手。。。
思念不断。。。把我的脑海装得满满的。。
9.40pm
13-01-07
Saturday
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
8:13:00 PM
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Guess what...i'm suppose to be studying jap now... but hey.. i'm sitting here writing this post... hehe... i juz felt like sleeping whenever i open the book... :-(.... wah so much to study... i see the words all i can do is sigh.........haizzzzzzzzzzzz :-( I juz felt like writing something here today... feeling so tired today... yawning throughout the day... i'm a walking corpse....
My 5 percent is gone for Mice... i cant answer his questions at all.. :-( upsetting... totally not in luck... coz i knew how to answer some of my classmate's questions except for my own questions :-( Shucks.. sighz...................................:-(
*最近，感觉自己不是很幸运。。叹气：-(**
More and more people are blogging nowadays.. friends around me.. people around me..... almost everyone has got a blog of their own... some had it long time ago.. some recently... Thanks to the person who created this thing called "Blog" so that people like us can come here to blog our frustrations, feelings, thoughts.. or whatever rubbish ... lame jokes... etc.....
Reading other people's blog can be fun too... some pple prefer to write upsetting stuffs ..the down side of their life...throughout.. whilst others.. prefer to share their ups and downs... i belong to the second category...I think sharing both ups and downs make blogs more complete... this is my personal opinion only.... so that at least when u look back at ur previous posts... u know ur life is not that sad throughout... there were both happy and unhappy moments in ur life... not juz the unhappy ones....
Writing words of thanks and appreciation for friends and loved ones is great too.. besides thanking them.. what's most important is u can make them feel that, what they have done for u is truly appreciated and cherished by u... and when they are happy... u will be happy too :-p
I guess i shouldnt ask for too much...everyone thinks and does things differently...
*I think it is important to appreciate and acknowledge what others had done for u....so that at least they know what they have done meant something to u... and their actions were worthwhile... *
*Thanks for ur cap... i knew how much u hate to take off ur cap in public....was very happy that u were willing.. thanks if it's not for u..i would be having a headache again... *
*读完后，难免有一点的失落感。。有一 点的失望, 但也不能怪你。。毕竟每个人有自己的表达方式。。*
*有时觉得自己好象很 没用。。总觉 得我并没有让你很开心。。深怕 你会后悔这段开始。。*
*是我做的太少？。。还是我做的事情 对你来说都太微不足道？。。突然 觉得自己变得好渺小。。**
*就算对你来说这些可能微不足道， 但 请相信真心从来不会少一分。。。*
*可能是我太 过于需要身边，那些对我重要的人的肯定。。所以一句 简单的话。。一个微小的动作。。对我来说都非常。。非常。。比 你想象中的重要。。*
*这几天发现原来。。暂别。。也会如此难熬。。*
思念。。想念不断。。。
7.30pm
Wednesday
10-01-07
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
6:24:00 PM
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Days seemed longer...nights too... nonetheless....projects still irritates... busy schedules irritates too..... tests also irritates me.... minutes apart irritates.... separation irritates more.... however i can blame no one.... this irritates too...
Irritation rules...
我的心想唱首歌给你听。
我在等着你静静的温柔。。只要能够在一起静静的就足够。。。
就这样。。静静的手牵着手一起走下去。。
思念延续着。。。
现在了解有时候过于依赖不太好受.....
等待好漫 长。。也不太好受。。
该反省吗？
或许吧。。。
9.20pm
Sunday
07-01-06
Many days more to go.....
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
8:47:00 PM
Saturday, January 06, 2007
oh well... i haven't had it good these days... is it coz my mind is still set on holiday mood? The projects? School? or was it juz that i cant get used to the fact that u and me got to start work and lead busy lifestyles...?
The unhappiness was quite obvious i guess.... even though i tried my best to hide it ... as i never like to let my mood affect my friends around me..... but in the end.. they can still tell... sorrie guys...
I guess so... i admit i'm the fight starter... not gonna let this happen again... really dun mean to start it...guess i'm juz overly paranoid... always worrying about stuffs that are not true at all.....
maybe i'm too used to having someone there when there's a problem... so when someone couldnt be there for a valid reason i start to let my mind wander in the negative way... caught in the middle...i'm upset when i can't reach the person during that point in time... but on the other hand due to the valid reason i can't blame the person also.... I guess that's when i feel paranoid.. kinda silly...not knowing how to express the insecurities and unhappiness i resort to picking up fights...
i do deserve a slap at times :-(....well, i guess i juz needed more assurances during low periods of my life...and when i dun get it... i vent the frustrations in the wrong way.. hope to seek ur understanding...
in future muz learn to think more positively... let this be one of my new year resolutions for 2007 .. muz also learn to appreciate people's good points... and overlook their flaws....
It seems like such a long time before i can experience what i have been looking forward to....
sighz :-(
there will be like 2 tests this coming week.... :-(...
Amongst all the sucking projects... i worry most about Fac magt individual assignment.. i really have no idea about what's expect .. *sighz*... mental stress over this project..... :-( juz shoot me...juz wanna pass tt's all, on top of that there are a few other assignments to worry about....
I am such a worry wart....worrying doesnt get me anywhere.. but i juz cant help it..
i think i will be happy juz to get thru this suckin semester smoothly..... with no retakes.. juz one time smoothly...
*Thanks Mary and Joch for ur thought or ideas... haha .. and thanks also for ur smses to cheer me up...thks for ur concern :-p very much appreciated... **
*Projects suck... suck.... suck ....:-(**
*The sacrifice of ur sleep time was very much appreciated.. thanks :-p*
*Without u, the third guitar wouldn't be possible at all... thanks :-p*
*Hope tt u will continue to be there for me for always... support and console me whenever i'm down like u always did... **
I'm Considered quite lucky... i got 3 guitars... all 3 are gifts from my loved ones...
First guitar from my dad... Second Guitar from my sister and brother-in-law and the third guitar from him, lao shi and the rest of my guitar mates... :-p
Thanks to them all... i cherish all three guitars .... all three guitars are of special significance to me... gives me a different feel when playing each of them... I love them all.... :-p
*我实在不该想太多，我应该全心全意的去相信你的一切*
*抱歉又让你难过，我告诉我自己不会再有下一次， 但还是需要你的包容， 体谅与谅解。。*
*一个人时希望时间快点过，两个人时又不断希望时间能够一直停留在此刻。。**
*只要不在我视线范围内，思念就开始。。**
思念不断。。。
06-01-07
5.32pm
Saturday
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
4:26:00 PM
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Is it because of the rain.. or is it juz me ... feeling blue.... I'm fine actually juz suddenly felt insecure tt's all.... wonder why? ...why am i feeling down......?? maybe it's really the rain...or is it the sucking projects?... or is it juz u ... the one reading this post?.. i do not eliminate any kind of possibilities....
Everyone's busy... not juz u ... not juz me.. it's everyone ... yea.. everyone got their own lifestyles to lead... i understand that sure i do... however i juz needed more assurance...tt's all... is it tt difficult? ...is tt too much?
Maybe i'm juz too sensitive.... i will be fine in a day or two?
tt's all for today *sighz**
*if constant reminder is required ... some things loses it's value... loses it's meaning... :-(**
*project... suck... suck ... suck... *
*在梦里常常寻寻觅觅的寻找着一个人。。*
*我想要看见你的眼睛。。听见你的声音。。不关多小声， 多小声我也会用心，用意。。在意的听。。**
04-01-06
Thursday
10.05pm
8:17:00 PM
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Juz a small paragraph to sum things up.... Projects sucks big time....i simply cant find any suitable outlet to vent my frustrations on...Grrrrrr :-( if only my mind can work faster... than life will seem a lot easier.... any suggestions on what to eat to improve on the working on my brain cells....? ha
School = Projects = Stress
When school reopens ... i'm already thinking and looking forward to the next holiday..... :-(
Looking forward to Friday...so tt i can see someone.. see friends... to go for lesson to TEMPORARILY get away from the stress......one of the projects is due on Monday... I hope everyone do their part properly... and we can work well together to see this through asap...
*虽然，我看到你为我筹钱的努力。。但我依然不断的需要你的肯定，赞美与包容。。*
*感觉有如好久不见。。。但其实也只过了两天。。*
睡觉时。。又希望时间能过得慢一点。。。上课。。又一心希望时间快点过去，好让
我能早点下课。。突然觉得自己好懒。。哈哈
一 个人的时候只希望时间能快点过。。两个人的时候又希望时间能够
永远停留在此刻..
有时觉得时间多得受不了。。有时又觉得时间少得不够用。。我觉得自己好难满
足。。好麻烦。。
思念不断。。想 念不断...
03-01-07
Wednesday
9.50pm
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
8:49:00 PM
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I learnt a lot these 3 months... i really did.... time does flies... juz zoom 3 months spent.... there were both happy... unhappy moments shared... most of them were happy... however i treasure them all.... nothing is always smooth sailing all the time... i'm willing to learn to build something stronger... I never regret starting this at all... Yes.. obviously there were times when views and perspectives were different ... i want to overcome them all....I am sure of wat i want... i want to work on this together... and make this work.. I want to work to make it work.... I want this to last...
Nonetheless, action still speaks louder than words... yes i may wanna change but this takes time... seeking for more understanding...
I may have expressed a lot on my personal views, my hopes and my secret fantasies..however to me.. that was juz bonuses, something like treats and surprises.... something i wish to have but without it .. i'm fine... i really juz wanted u to know...tt's all... I wan u to know because i wan to be open ... i wan u to noe my views... my hopes...my fantasies...and most importantly my everything.....
In actual fact.. Deep down... what i wanted most was just ur company... that's all.. it's juz that simple... needless to elaborate more.. Juz needed ur presence all the time .....
Juz needed u to be around....tt's all
Tomorrow gotta go back to school le.... Hell... :-(.... my projects not even half done... Shit...:-(
I'm going to be very very busy.....all the way till March le...
*hope that all my wishes come true..... and everything goes smoothly.....*
*I got lots of sms wishes from my friends... really appreciate that.. thanks for remembering and bothering to send me ur wishes... :-p**
*Thanks Angeline aka Mary for ur lovely e-card... :-p.. i appreciate it.. though i cant read all of the words.. send me a bigger one soon k nonetheless... still wanna thank u for ur effort.... nice pictures too ur effort is well appreciated....hehe... thanks.... dear... muack muack :-p**
*A relationship is never juz a bed of roses....but i am willing to work on everything .. as long as we are working on it together.. *
*我珍惜 这些日子以来所发生的点点 滴滴。。*
*只是简单的需要 你的陪伴。。就 这样。。不需再多解 释。。**
*我就要和 你在一起。。就 这样。。不需再多解 释。。*
*就四 个字。。“我不后悔”。那你呢？*
02-01-07
Tuesday
3.08pm
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
2:16:00 PM
Monday, January 01, 2007
Okie.. i'm officially 21 now.... how do i feel? dun really feel anything.. i juz felt i should post something on this day.... the day i was borned into this world........Birthdays are juz another ordinary day.. it's juz that mine happened to fall on New year's day... so it appears to be big coz everyone is celebrating it with me.... otherwise it will still be the same.....
Yesterday..my birthday eve 31st Dec... countdown wasnt quite a good one i would say.... went to a pub as usual... watch people perform... then left after 12... still got to waste cab fare... it wasnt really worth it.. if given another chance i would rather go else where... never to a pub to countdown..... with uncles who acted like kids coz they were drunk... now gotta wait till next year le.... quite a disappointment for yesterday's countdown... but forget it it's over... cannot turn back time ...in the end even ended up eating cup noodles for supper... kk.. cant help it getting poorer each day...
I havent got a birthday cake yet... juz wanna make a wish or two.... i dun think i will get one today either... actually without also can make wish le .... it's juz that too used to having one ...
greedy.... actually purpose is not to eat the cake.. juz make wishes .... blow candles.. cut cake.... have a slice... can throw away le hehe... no la... kidding...
another bad thing that happened today...Juz got scolded... by my mother... too today :-( for staying out late these days... :-(and plus it's already almost one .. and someone havent call.. think u're still sleeping..... sighz... disappointment....
The first time i called ... sleeping time again... second time... nearly became sleeping time for u again...
it juz allows me to think more negative stuffs only....
Don't give me hope when there is no confidence in doing something... it only dampens my mood.... certain things may not seem impt to a person... but may be very impt to another....
okie.. more energy is wasted if u say so.... i should be the one sleeping less.. i should be the one feeling more energetic ... getting less sleep.....I'm tired yes... but i'm willing to sacrifice sleep time... but i guess it does not apply to everyone... sighz.. :-(but if someone is really looking forward to something .. will him/her appear or seemed so unwilling to get out of bed? From the actions... it tells a lot about a person's enthusiasm... how much he/she look forward to something.... i dun think so.... i reckon i should even use the word look forward... not really suitable for this situation....
sighz...*juz another ordinary day...except for more messages in my inbox for those who remembered my birthday... Thanks to all my friends who remembered and wished me...i appreciate it..:-p*
*Happy New Year 2007 to all who's reading this now :-p enjoy a great year ahead...*
是我想太多 吗？还是幻想太多？
要求太高。。抱的希望又太多。。
我应该开 心。。快 乐。。做人要知足
就这样了。。。祝我生日快 乐
01-01-1986
12.58pm
Monday
It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.
12:21:00 PM
