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Saturday, January 27, 2007

难过

爱哭的眼睛。。终于流眼泪了。。

Initially, I was so happy when u said u were willing to wait until my performance finish ... but halfway through u said u worry about the midnight charge and u were tired too... u ask me whether i still wanted to perform....from the way u ask me i knew u wanted me to leave already.... do u think i still have the heart to tell u how much i wanted to perform...no i dun... so i kept the two songs "ju hua tai" and "zhui jing" that i intended to perform back into my bag... i didnt even put it in the file i juz shoved it in my bag folded...juz in case u happened to change ur mind bout leaving.... but u didnt... so
eventually we left.... was sad not only coz of the performing part... but the fact that u never really thought of how i felt...well u were too tired as u have been for the past weeks to even bother... and as for me ... i couldnt blame u ... sighz... so i can only be unhappy.... but i couldnt show it...u gave me hope.. then u take it away from me halfway thru.. the feeling's not good... well performing is something i look forward to everytime.. if from the start there were no chances ... i wouldnt mind not performing.. but if a chance was given to me .. and i gave it up i will feel a bit upset coz it's not everyday that i can perform... busy with projects and tests everyday... performance makes me happy... anyway knew u were tired.... i shouldnt make u stay coz of me ...
not blaming anyone for my moods.... it was juz my problem no one else is at fault...

i know u are not feeling well... I needed ur company... but as ur tired i told u to go back and have a rest... I didnt ask u to stay even though i very much wanted u to stay for my sake... sighz...after all this.. u still doubt the level of concern i have on u ... sighz... i really am upset when u ask me that... but decided i let u sleep... i mentioned i cant sleep.. but again u were too tired to notice my unhappiness .... :-(

i cant sleep... speechless... sleepless...
i keep telling myself that it's over it's over stop brooding over it... it wont change the situation what's done cannot be undone but i'm still feeling upset.. i prob need some time to get over this...

pple might think it's actually nothing ... but guess i think differently??... i dunno i dun care.... i cant think properly at the moment... however felt a bit better after toking to someone... i juz need to complain .... everyone 's asleep... inlcuding u..but i cant sleep u were too tired to bother...i dun blame u juz a bit sad that u couldnt be dere when i needed u... at least i got a listening ear at this point in time..only need it now..... or i would have gone crazy....for thinking too much ..anyway was surprised u were not asleep yet... thks anyway

Night...

u will be working again today... sighz... but instead of staying at home i have decided to go out to get some fresh air..
for these days, it's either that i dun see u at all... or when i see u ... u looked like ur going to faint anytime... ... i was wondering if it will be better if i dun meet u at all.... then at least u cld use the time to rest...

或许，这就叫做笑中含着泪水吧。。没人能体会我

你还关心我吗？

我也只能期待下一次的表演机会了。。。

*我好没用，就只会流眼泪。。什么也不会。。*

*我尽量把不开心，失落感都放在心里。。尽量不让你看见。。因为知道你累。。*

*做了这些，你仍然怀疑我对你的关心。。我好难过。。*

*你不会知道我有多期待每个星期的这一天。。因为知道只有今天能见你久一点。。但最后知道你好累。。无论自己多不想你走。。但还是得让你走。。突然觉得好寂寞。。是夜晚太沉静了吗？*

我需要你的时候，又不能要求你在我身边。。。这种感觉你懂吗？

我发现最近的我。。。好象和寂寞结为了好朋友。。。

以前的你，一定会安慰我直到我开心为止。。。现在的你，已经没精力那样做了。。。不能怪你。。也只能难过。。不开心而已。。

想想差别。。眼泪也不小心的在眼角里打滚
难道“累”是你忽略我的感受的最好理由吗？

我都不能肯定你是否是为见我而开心。。还是因为工作最后一天而开心。。

*算了，相信过一阵子就会没事了。。叹气*

我只想发泄。。

signing off...

寂寞陪我也已经有好一段日子了。。。就让寂寞再陪我独过今夜吧。。。

习惯就好。。没什么。
相信如果是以前的你。。你一定会为我而留下。。。现在不同了。。你工作后好多改变都在等我去适应。。去习惯。。只因我必须。。体谅你的累。。

4.00am

Saturday

27-01-07

今天我好难过。。很抱歉开心不起来

好想念你过去安慰我。。哄我的模样。。现在你连看我的眼神都没

精神。。更不用说安慰我。。。
到头来。。反过来是我必须不断安慰你。。感觉好无奈。。寂寞。。

更难过的是你好象也累得都没有察觉到我的难过。。我的不快乐。。

我还能找回从前那敏感，体贴的你吗？

It’s touching if someone notices ur need without u having to say or do anything, and even more touching if the same person tries his best to satisfy ur need even before u take any actions to satisfy ur own needs.

Credits:

Pictures downloaded from MSN Live images search engine

1:24:00 AM