Wednesday, February 28, 2007
One more day to go........I simply can't wait....
Missing u... it's been 9 long, unbearable days.......
五个字。。。
我真的好累！！！
三个字。。。
救命啊！！！
再多四个字。。。
痛苦待续。。。
1:17:00 PM
Monday, February 26, 2007
3 more suffering days to go... 3 more papers.... wish me all the best... i'm hyper stress... i'm afraid... i'm nervous... the pre-examination syndromes.... u name it ... i have it....
Looking lerthargic.... looking like a living zombie.... haven't been sleeping ... eating.. well..
2 of my frenz said i looked very pale... very 憔悴... of course... with the amount of sleep and rest i get for the past week.... i shld be happy i'm still awake .... :-(
I now know having 2 papers in one day can be so tiring .... so tedious... so energy straining.... after today...i still got to relive the experience again on thursday again... sucks.. all the way till 9pm... one afternoon paper... one night paper...
A couple of regrets.... lost some precious marks that i shouldnt lose for the Accounting paper.... and for lodging... it juz takes away large part of my energy.... and my finger still hurts with all that writting of crap and more crap.....I bullshitted thruout... overall...it's a demoralising paper...
Sighz...................
It's always during exam periods like these.. i ask tell myself : " Why can't I be smarter? Why do i have to absorb and understand information so slowly?" Sian...If only... If only I was smarter...
I feel like a silly, clumsy turtle.. slowly climbing.....crawling slowly behind... while the rest are already far ahead of me.... sprinting, running towards their goal... :-(
still crawling on..........like a turtle....:-(
I need energy.... anyone selling? I need something other than coffee ..... coz i don't like to drink coffee... need something else..to keep me awake without feeling a tinge of sleepiness...
It's funny...I got a love-hate relationship with coffee... i love the smell of coffee.... but I dun like the taste of coffee....
I need energy.. I need brains.....
I need to replenish all the energy tat's being depleted......
I Hate Exams!
我不想做一只又慢又笨的乌龟。。。真的不想。。。
I Hate being a turtle....
*用四个简单的字来表达我的心意。。
"好想见你"。。。。*
Suffering continues.............
痛苦待续。。
6:09:00 PM
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Juz a string of words before I go....
I am Mentally Drained... Physically worn out... I need energizer... I need more energy... more time..more chicken essence..more red bull.... more energy... coz I am a slow learner.........
The cause:
I Hate Exams!!!
觉得不好受。。又见不到你。。。 真是双倍难受。。。
我真的好累！！！ 真的是好想放弃。。。救命啊。。。
真想有人能扶我一把。。
真希望这一切赶快过去。。。我快发疯了！！！
痛苦待续。。
11:10:00 PM
Monday, February 19, 2007
Chinese new year is quite boring.. at least to me...maybe coz i dun like gambling and also this week is supposedly my study week.... :-( i can't help but worry bout it on and off... my mind couldnt be totally at ease... havent really started studying yet... dunno if i got time to finish studying not... :-(
I tink i'm the only one who still got time to sit here write this... everyone shld be gambling away now... i juz dun see any fun in gambling... i think this is juz an activity to keep everyone busy during visits... otherwise what else can they do besides gambling? conversations wont last long unless they are doing something together...
To me ... besides the Ang Bao element... chinese new year is boring.... hehe... so practical...
This is a "special" Chinese new year due to the following changes:
Frst change... my family only went out of the house during evening time... we didnt go to my cousin's house coz my grandma is at my uncle house this yr..
otherwise there will always be this usual visit to my cousin's house at level 3 , first thing in the morning the first day of every chinese new year... to eat vegetarian food.. then we will always routinely proceed on to my godma's house... this pattern is a routine.. but not this year....
Second change will be this is the first time that the chinese new year week happen to fall on study week... :-(
Third change my whole family took public transport for visiting .. i dun quite mind this actually coz so used to taking it everyday.. but on CNY so used to sitting my dad's car for the past years...
However, one thing still remains unchange... the eating element...
during chinese new year it's hard to go hungry...... coz u get to eat and eat and eat .... ha!
According to someone, i'm suppose to eat more and put on more weight... ha! i'm not sure whether i can... coz i tend to stress too much about everything.... :-(
*承诺不算太遥远.....*
*从前不敢想的梦想。。透过你的眼光。。才发现梦想原来在前方。。。*
*没有谁能把你抢离我身旁。。你是我的专属天使。。
唯我能独占。。
没有谁能取代你在我心上。。能拥有一个专属天使。。就足够。。我哪里还需要什么愿望。。*
*当我难过时，我喜欢你轻轻摸摸我的头。。然后轻声的对我说“不要怕，一切会没事。。因为有你在。。你会一直陪着我。。一定会没事的。。。”。。对我而言，这种感觉比什么都珍贵。。*
懂吗？
*我们一步步地靠近终点,
一步步地。。小心翼翼地走向永远的方向。。*
有没有人跟你说过，我最讨厌被忽略
待续。。。
12:09:00 AM
Friday, February 16, 2007
2:01:00 PM
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
5:03:00 PM
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Doozo Yoroshiku.. Jap role play's finally over :-p
又是我惹的祸。。我真的也不想这样的
又是我的胡思乱想...搞的鬼。。叹气。。
睡不能睡，脑海里都是你的画面。。
I wonder what's gotten into me yesterday... it wasn't what i planned... i speak without thinking... hurtful words juz unknowingly came out from my mouth... i'm not sure whether being tired is one fo the factors that affected me to be this way... but it's not really an acceptable excuse in the first place...
More often than not, the person who said those words have a higher chance of forgetting what he/she juz said... on the other hand the other person who's listening on the receiving end have higher chances of remembering what's being said to him/her.
I am a cautious person by nature...
I pay attention to small details that u may sometimes overlook... I know u r trying...i can sense the change in u too... hope u will continue to try pay more attention to the small small details........so tt i will not think too much
I am an attention seeker...
I enjoy having ur full attention... Need endless attention from u..... needed ur company so much last night, i couldnt think properly so i neglected certain things.... which i shouldn't..but the intention was simple; juz needed ur company for a while more........
Let's work together to build something stronger than before....
我真的不该再让胡思乱想有机会再伤害我们。。
对不起..
Actually i really appreciate the sacrifices u made for me... I remember it.. I appreciate it...
*I am weak when I know I have u to depend on*
在有你的世界里，我好象一个弱者， 我是无助的，因为知道身边有一个你，可以让我依赖。。
*In front of u, there is never a need to put on a strong front..*
*在你面前，我不需要伪装真实的自己， 只有在你面前。。我看见了真实的我。。*
我只想紧紧抱着你不放。。
就这么简单。。不需再多解释
*不要再说我把你当作空虚的工具了。。听得我好难受
对我来说，你绝对不是工具。。
根本也无法拿来做比较,
因为你太重要了。。。
懂吗？*
我是不是一头没用的笨牛？
鱼需要海才能生存。。鱼不能够没有海的相伴。。
我是一只游泳的鱼，感受你的爱。。一个眼神。。一个简单的举动就能够让我从水中得到足够的氧气，继续勇敢游下去。。
如果我是鱼，你就是海。。。拥抱我，保卫着我。。全世界只有你最懂我。。
那么你愿意做大海一直拥抱着我，保卫着我到最后吗???
12:13:00 PM
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
我只要你开心。。
Hajimemashite, Brenda desu
It's been a few days since i last blogged... stressed and busy with the proficiency test..opera... Jap etc.....at least 2 is over... left one more for this week..... several hiccups along the way .. for the prof test.... as for opera test.. the whole system hanged only for our class.... how unlucky can i get? Ha!
And guess what i had diarrhoea today...i think there is a problem with today's Rits...? I dunno or probably juz a sensitive stomach... but mary was unwell too after eating.... forget it...Daijobu desu... what a lousy day... :-(... still having slight headache on and off ... sighz.. hope it goes away soon....
Secondly, i am also having some cash-flow problems tomorrow it's time for me to renew my concession with another 50 bucks... sianz.. :-(... any banks easy to rob can recommend?
想念。。Anyway these 2 tests are over....i'm very happy that u've got a handphone again...:-p i hated the feeling of not being able to reach u....we've got the same model, colour ... too Ha! ... i can do anything juz as long as u got a handphone... which makes u reachable...it makes meeting u easier that way too ! Hope i made u happy too :-p
With regards to the mismatch of the signs... i'm not going to bother too much and let it affect the both of us in any way... let's work together to build a stronger relationship!...I hope that u understand now that a lasting relationship requires patience, understanding and lots of giving in...and acceptance....and lots of tw0-way communication too. :-p Hope u dun find me too greedy constantly seeking for more and more of ur care and concern... it's never enuff.... i guess :-pI need u to help me practise my jap script again tomorrow... looking forward to seeing u :-p
*期待着你更多的熟悉的温柔。。那句话也只对我一个人说。。希望你真的感觉得到我为你做的一切。。也因此感到开心。。 你开心。。所以我开心。。**两个人因为不同。。所以彼此互相吸引。。好不可思议。。这份魔力大得吓坏了我。*
*R u the missing piece I have been looking for all my life???*
能够拥在你怀里是一种幸福。。。
简单的愿望：
我要你的每一天过得幸福又安全。。永远快乐。。。开心。。就足够。。
*春天散步。。夏天看海。。秋天数落叶。。我们一直没有烦恼。。一直没有争吵。。让每天象糖一样甜。。冬天飘雪。。你是绵被，温暖我的夜。一直在你身边, 一直爱到永远, 而我就只要负责靠着你的肩就足够。。好吗？*
希望我们能一起一直走到最后。。
好吗？
8:45:00 PM
Saturday, February 03, 2007
想太多的我。。常常 让自己没安全感。。所以才不 断需要身边对我重要的人的肯定 与关心。。
My guitars is still not fixed yet :-( was a bit disappointed... but i'm the one who forget which string broke... said the wrong string... so the wrong string was bought and eventually my guitar is still the same... :-(Hoping to fixed it soon... i missed playing a complete guitar... :-(
Had a great conversation with Linda and Angeline (Mary) yesterday.. :-p looking forward to the next one.. Thanks Mary for accompanying yesterday :-p and ur soup and potato salad... hehe it has always been great fun hanging out with u pple...dunno whether we still have chance to be in the same class not...Hope so :-p
I got to start cracking on the mice project 3... and study the menu for my proficiency test...i was quite afraid of it actually :-(.... and i still got Jap script to memorise for next week's role play...
the whole of next week is filled with activities.....oh still got opera to worry about... but i cant really do much preparation on that...
*Hoping to have a complete guitar soon....*
*Time often flies when i have u around.. i often wondered why... hope u enjoyed last night as much as i did.. did u? *
*looking forward to seeing u...*
*Forgot to pass u something yesterday ... *
*Hope to seek for more of ur attention, care and concern.......for always.....*
*不要再粗心大意了。。。多多 顾虑我的感受好不好？*
*请你让我再一次相信我们能够长久。。 好吗？*
*希望你粗心少一点。。关心多一点。。忘记少一点。。耐心多一点。。细心多一点。。敏感多一点。。*
*我期待着你往后对我能加倍的关怀。。照顾与细心。。不断的呵护。。保护我就足够
*我是一只游泳的 鱼，感受你的爱。。一个眼神。。一个关心的举动， 就能够让我从水中得到足 够的氧气。。。继续游下去*
心中的海永 远都会为你停留。。。
不要再忽略我的感受了。。。
1:34:00 PM
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Type: Baby Bird suspected to be a baby peacock...
Age: Estimated to be around 3 weeks old
Parents: No where to be found
Status: Lost
Body features: Have feathery wings (but for display purposes only) cant fly...
Location: Found on the grounds of my School
Comments: Very tiny and adorable...in school for so long first time spot a baby bird that can be handled by humans ... it even sort of dozed off in the midst of being in a foreign human's hands...
quite gullible and innocent... tt's why i love animals....
I wish i'm an animal at times... careless and free....without any form of restrictions without fear of affecting the others... dun have to care about anything except for food, water and a place to sleep...
okie... I felt lousy... yes for the whole of today... i smiled ... i acted normal.... slept for only 3 hours last night... dun ask me why... it's something i dun wish to tok about.... felt useless too... dun ask me why also.. i juz felt that way...
Is my efforts appreciated ? i dunno.. juz wish tt i could feel more appreciated ... asking too much? ... I'm still learning ... making good progress along the way... learning the art of independency... juz rather down after hearing that sentence ever since yesterday... that sentence kept on repeating in my mind from yesterday till now...
Am i chidish ? maybe ... the truth really hurts...okie since everything is already finalised why should i need so much assurances? send me to mental hospital pls someone...
cant u explain it to me again in a nicer way? why muz u be so straightforward... i know u said it before but can u repeat it to me again..
I now know that i'm juz an over dependent childish secondary school kid ... overly dependent on someone... but not anymore.....really not anymore...
我无论多忙既使没有时间传简讯给 你。。我还是不断想着你。。只可惜现在发现你和我不一样。。。
好难过
*就算我错了你也不必说得那么直接。。*
不要再用伤人的话伤害我了好吗？
我决定控制我对你的依赖。。。
能不能够再让我相信我们能长久？
4:52:00 PM
