Sunday, April 29, 2007
It's been a week... i stil haven't really gotten used to going to school everyday.... fell sick on wed... got sicker on thursday night.... didnt go to school on friday.... sighz.. i have a performance yesterday evening at HarbourFront and I have to fall sick and have a flu ... ha! :-x... strike lottery also not so accurate... but it was an enriching experience anyway... the first time i'm performing outdoors... ha!...:-p although i wasnt really in my best condition... i tried my best already.....maybe that's what's most important......
我已渐渐习惯。。。那你呢？这些日子以来。。。还习惯不读吗？ 我想你或许也根本没把它当成一回事吧。。。。不提。。更轻松。。。所以时间久了，也就不提了。。算了。。
不重要了....
可能这就叫习惯吧。。。
反正一开始写的意义也只是发泄。。并非为谁而写。。
如果真的想。。。真的有心。。。就不必那么久了。。时间是人安排的。。。
其实，有好多事情可以做并不需要样样要我暗示。。。
有试过跟墙壁说话吗？ 那种说十句。。换回一，两个字的答案，你试过吗？
那种拼命想继续说话，但对方的回答，却似乎没有要继续说话的意思。。。仿佛就象是恨恨的用了一个大石头封闭了我想继续沟通的心思。。。有时还真的难免会有累的感觉..........
我喜欢沟通。。讨厌沉默。。讨厌那种不自在的安静存在。。讨厌你把心关上。。拒绝和我沟通。。。
我讨厌等待。。。往往等待的人会比那个让人等待的人痛苦十倍以上。。。
突然感觉累了。。。
5:01:00 PM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The first week of school.... well pretty slack.. it's always been like that for the first week.... but after attending Mr Tan's lecture ... i can actually feel the stress... the reflection compositions to be done the portfolio... the presentations... :-x sianz.............i really hope i can be with good grp members this semester.... so that we can smoothly tide all the projects thru together... safely and smoothly.... but sadly..till now i still do not know who's in my tutorial class... sianz.. not anyone i know well for sure... tried asking around....familiar faces yes... but i do not really noe them very well.... i will know for sure next week who is in my tutorial class......
Juz praying hard for good project mates........ cooperative and hardworking ones i hope....who knows i might really be stuck in a class in which i know no one at all.... it's the same anxious feeling i get when i was in year one.... but for year one i knew for sure i will not know anyone ha!
Anyway i may be juz the only person in T07 hahaha..... impossible .....
I had gastric this morning......... still gotta go to school for one miserable hour... for music lecture... such a waste of my time and transport fee... :-x A class that start at 6 ends at 7..... :-x
我写再多你也没办法读到。。。
对不起。。。我昨日的疏忽又让你不开心。。。我每次玩得开心时，总会不小心的忽视一些事情。。。也承认自己还挺喜欢跟周围的人说话。。有说有笑。。无论男女都一样。。。有时说着说着又不知觉的忽略你的感受。。。以后我会尽量提醒自己让自己和他们保持一定的距离。。。
我好喜欢星期一的惊喜。。希望你的改变能延续到永远。。
我会珍惜这样的改变。。。
和我一同享受这美丽之景吧！
想一生都这样下去。。
4:10:00 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I havent been doing anything constructive lately.... i've been dwelling my time away....
I couldnt bear to say goodbye to holidays...i'm never ready for school work.. and projects.. so far i'm still not sure if i'm stuck in a class filled with strangers.... dunno if i know anyone yet... ha!
Pls pls pls...give me good project mates.... those who are willing to contribute and do work...
Yesterday went to the pub... that pub brought back some memories.. it is the first pub i went with lao shi and the rest..... the first pub we took our first photo....the first time we hang out....many things changed... changes in status....
I had fun yesterday with u... all the silly magic u performed... and the fortune telling session from ah J.. was quite interesting .... certain things were very accurate... but not all i guess...I still believe that our fate still lies within our own hands ......
we all already know that everyone needs to put in hard work in order to achieve excellent results.... However the one on my past relationship is quite true...But it doesnt matter anymore.. what matters most to me is my present relationship... sure hope it can last forever :-p ha!
Changed my blog song again....love this song....
昨日的小小动作就能让我感到开心。。。。我正享受着这样的改变。。。非常珍惜。。喜欢。。。希望能这样的延续下去
希望和你的未来只有乐趣, 想象和你手牵手一起看新居的画面。。让我不禁露出笑容。。双眼开始像饮醉
这一世都不足够让我看着你
因为我想一生看下去
还会等到一天八十岁
看你头发灰色的点缀，和你慢慢一起老去。。。
他们反对就反对。。就算旁人不服气我们还是一样会在一起。。犹如在大战炮火里
毫无惧色的冲下去。。。
好想就这样和你一起一直欣赏着这美丽之景到永恒。。。要吗？
2:07:00 PM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Life breaks in mysterious and unpredictable ways... one minute u might have it.. the next minute u might juz lose it... that's life ... inexplicable .. unpredictable... mysteriously...........however, certain things can be predictable too though depending on situation....and on the human beings involved..... anyway not important
No one knows what is going to happen the next minute... it's a question mark....here i am sitting here in front of the pc 3plus in the morning.... typing all these crap... mouth filled with cadbury nuts chocolate... I've been withholding my urge to eat chocolate this week..but i dun have to anymore, at least for this week.. ..I can eat all i wan... ha! No performance this week... something cropped up... i'm free to eat anything again....coz i am not quite sure when is my next performance....
i can get all the rest i can.... hibernate noone cares...
Chocolate makes me happy i wonder why... juz love the taste of chocolates....esp those with raisins and nuts... I kinda love those with alcohol too.. but that will be a bit more expensive le...
:-x I dun mind having another cadbury chocolate now in my mouth....
*我对自己的自我要求高，高过我自己的能力好多好多。。。所以当自己没办法达到自我的要求时，就觉得自己好没用。。。觉得自己好差劲。。。什么也做不好。。。
我也只会自责。。。责怪自己天资不足所以才没办法学会。。没办法超越别人。。。永远也只听到“放不开”，“不够放”的种种类似问题。。感觉有些厌倦。。。知道问题的存在，却无法将问题解决。。。真是好苦恼。。
我自认没有安慰人的天分。。在这方面，我真的没有天分。。我真是一无是处。。。。*叹气*。。。但我肯定的是。。我的心百分之百是支持你的。。。
请你一定要相信我
*希望你真的守承诺。。真的就如你所说的会有改变。。。因为我真的再也吃不下，多一张空头支票了。。。再一次我想我会崩溃吧。。。。*
*但愿我现在拥有的希望。。不会化成失望。。*
我知道你为必会读到这些，但我还是会写。。。就为了发泄。。。
我真是一个，一无是处的人吗？
或许吧！
signing off....
2:16:00 AM
Friday, April 13, 2007
It's been days since i last wrote anything new... been working and working these days...tired as can be... day and night... morning at the cd shop... at night at a pub.... 27th will be the last day... after which i guess there will be a long break?.... it all depends on situation...
yes i admit i can be an over-reactor at times...but i cant seem to help it.... the more i care about something or someone... the bigger my reaction ... when worrying has gotten over me.. i am capable of saying anything and everything ...but that's juz because i am afraid of losing something important to me ...
I wan the best for people i care about .. yes i may be harsh with my words and tone at times but my intention are juz for the betterment of the person i care about.. i knew i shouldnt... but being the rash person.. i cant seem to keep anything for long within me... i seem to blurt out everything i feel on that very moment... because i wanted the best for a person...i wanted so much for u to excel in everything u do.... to do well in everything u do.... i knew that on that moment i juz wanted u to be the best u can... i knew u could do better than that....maybe i chose to say it at the wrong time... but that really doesnt mean that i'm not being supportive... i'm juz not a person too good with words...and i'm too rash to start with... maybe i'm being brought up in a family like that.... but i knew my parents cared for me no matter how harsh their words can be sometimes....
表达的方式并不是你要的表达方式。。。那个处理事情时的我，实在又呆又笨。。。我真的也不想。。有时觉得自己是一个成功的失败者。。。
为什么我就是学不会。。。。
面对感情，我还是个笨拙的初学者。。。
我是一个成功的失败者。。。
能原谅这个又呆又傻的初学者吗？
*If everyone cared and nobody cried, If everyone loved and nobody lied, If everyone shared and swallowed their pride......Then we'd see the day when nobody died..*
*All that u see is me.. and all I truly believe
that I was born to try... I'm still learning to love.. to be understanding... and believe in life... We gotta make choices...be it wrong or right.....sometimes we got to sacrifice the things we like... *
Life's full of mistakes....... but we juz got to move on whether we like it or not...
Is life itself a job? a chore?
maybe yes...
signing off.....
2:37:00 PM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
今天终于做了决定，下次不会再勉强你了。。
唯有不抱希望才不会有任何失望。。。
有些事情。。再勉强下去也失去了它原有的意义了。。。
这样对大家都好。。
也许我也已经吃惯了你的空头支票。。。
也没什么兴致再写下去了。。。
就这样了。。
祝大家今晚演出成功
再见
4:55:00 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
Time flies it's already April 2nd... i got work tomorrow... tomorrow my leg is gonna turn sour le ha!... ya...sure the things i wrote is bound to stir some unwanted misunderstanding.. glad u believed me....
Been having diarrhoea these days.. on off wonder why...:-x decided to change my blog song too... i love this song too... :-p a typical sad love song... but i love it.... quite emotional ...and sentimental..emotional lyrics accompanied with emotional melody.... my favourite type of song....
Hope everyone will love it too...
*有时候我也会自问自答，但心中清楚知道, 我不会让困难把我们击散*
只有你能抚平我所有寂寞。。
记得爱所有幸福的片段, 所以才一直忘记要离开
记得爱是我给过的答案, 就不再考虑应该不应该
至少我们都活得没有遗憾 ,只要记得爱, 就无所谓孤单
*已经是四月了。。希望你还记得你四月答应过我的事情。。。
我说过不会再去提醒是什么。。。如果忘了就算了。。*
下一次再见到你，我就会知道答案了。。我总觉得你应该会忘记吧。。。
我还是先别抱太大希望。。以免往后失望。。。
:-x
3:05:00 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
juz some thoughts that i wanna pen down...
也许，是缘分吧。。。要不是一年前下定决心要把吉他学好。。我也许可能永远也不会认识你。。。
现在想起来，好象是吉他把我们牵连在一起。。。
我会继续珍惜这段缘分。。。
希望你也和我一样
*我有时无聊时，也会想说，要是我没有学吉他我们还有可能在别的情况下遇见吗？还是就象两个陌生人，独自过着自己的生活呢？ 。。。*
对不起。。请你一定要相信我。。好吗？
6:12:00 PM
