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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I am tired, i also felt restless....

juz came back fro a pub after watching a perfomance....

I admit it was all my fault at first, i lost my temper over something insignificant... but on the later part i really felt rather frustrated and unhappy... i told myself not to but i can't help it...

I really do find it important... i dun see the point to be embarrassed as long as actions are not too over ...I'm not asking for overly big actions... juz really normal ones is already sufficient to make me feel contented... it's not that difficult.... but it's got the ability to bring me much happiness, security and comfort.....why muz it be a secret? isn't this suppose to be normal? Or is it my problem? why muz there be an act?

I juz dun see why the difficulty..it doesn't cost u anything, it's not a difficult stunt, and I dun need anything that is too over.....juz normal ones.... i envied others who can.....

i continuously repeat to myself in my head... but i juz can't help it... My behaviour eventually reflected my mood.... I can't act...i was affected......

I question myself... why do i find this so important when others may juz view it as so unimportant.... or even ridiculous....but u are juz not me.....so i suggest to whoever readers dun judge, dun question, i am juz venting some bottled feelings......

有时候的我，只想和你一样沉默，羡慕着你能够对每件事物都可以表现得若无其事，对于旁人的不满，也可以视而不见

I didn't had a great night that i thought i would have tonight.......:-x

It's already 3.30am in the morning now.... i had to find an outlet to let out this crazy feeling of crap within me.......... and that is writing this ...

sighz....

will u ever understand......

perhaps never..

*想不通几个普通，简单的肢体语言和问候怎么会那么难,
那么尴尬，那么丢脸。。。*

但那些所谓多余，尴尬的举动刚好又能带来好多，好多说不出的快乐，安慰，安全感。。。

*一切都还要看人数而定。。只能偷偷的在背后进行, 感觉有些厌倦。。。见面时间已不多，为何连所拥有的时间也不会想好好珍惜。。。宁愿表现的若无其事，将宝贵的一分一秒浪费掉。。。
怎么都还要去哀求，争取才能得到，那一点点的敷衍动作和问候。。。*

*看来，我可能永远只有羡慕别人的份了。。*

:-(

不说了。。。叹气

2:52:00 AM