A moment of silence
My tranquility needs absolute isolation
Without disturbances
Without disruptions
Without interruptions
Not even the one dearest to heart
Just me, myself and I
A sudden urge to protect the walls around my heart
At least for this moment
I dun wish to see them crumble and fall from any side
I dun wish for anyone to realize I’m actually that frail
No longer need to question no more
No longer stumbling aimlessly for a door
Not even a tinge of doubt
No longer questioning over your unrelenting absence
Persistent questioning shall stay in the past,
and not in the present
What’s left now is the
Mere enjoyment of serenity
For this split moment
My emotions freeze
I yearn so much to be at ease
To enjoy the silence from being alone
Without any form of pretence to shield the real me
Simply hiding from all the pretence in reality
My definition of loneliness
Being physically alone is not a form of loneliness
Having to face life alone emotionally is a form of loneliness
Still in search of the strength
The strength to heal, the strength to rejuvenate
The force to stay consistent with the change within me
The transition into the person I’m expected to be
It is a challenge,
an obstacle I’m seeking to overcome day after day
The smiles, the gentleness, the sweet embraces,
the surprises shall be
the most treasured prize
The treasured prize that I’m constantly fighting for…
The treasured prize that motivates me,
that gives me the strength to persevere.
So as to preserve the new me …
p/s: this is one english post that i suddenly felt like writing, as it's really been ages since my last post is in English...
and to also prove to tami, i not only read english books but i am also able to understand to a certain extent... haha lol :-p